Someone very close to me passed away about a week and a half ago. Carol and I were supposed to have lunch that week, but I had to cancel to fly out for the funeral. I told her I couldn't be there because the man who was like a second father to me passed away.
It was a nice day today, so Carol and I met in our park. We talked about Amber from the Bachelor. Carol thinks I should go knock on Amber's door. We both think we almost remember the apartment number we saw as Amber and Andy were leaving her place. Carol hopes Andy picks Tessa in the end. I hope so, too.
Carol showed me pictures of her and Tim, her late husband. Tim, who passed away a year ago on March 30. Her dog, Misty, was in the pictures, too. Misty was rolling around in the grass when I walked outside to meet Carol. Carol had told me in our last meeting that Misty had cancer on her mouth. To be honest, I didn't believe Carol. I thought she was just seeing things, or creating it in her head, because too many bad things happen to Carol for them all to be true. I saw the tumor on Misty's mouth today. It was bigger than a golf ball. And pink, bright pink, like an extended growth of her lip. Carol wasn't imagining it. She's had Misty for 14 years. Carol says it will be the end for her when Misty dies.
Carol talks alot without stopping. Mostly negative. All about the problems she's experiencing. She apologizes for talking so much, but she says the doctors tell her its part of her anxiety problem, her post tramatic stress syndrome. We talked briefly about God, whether or not Carol believes in Him, and whether or not He's good. She says Tim always believed it, and he helped her believe it, but now she's not so sure. Because if there's a God, why is there so much evil in the world? she asks me. I try to expain about how God allows evil because of man's choice to choose himself over God. But that doesn't do it for Carol. But why do the bad things just keep coming? she asks me. I asked her if she believes in Jesus. She said Tim did, but she didn't.
Carol handed me a card today. It said this: "Nothing is harder than saying goodbye to someone you love. May you find comfort in your loving memories." The card is white with very simple, watercolored, purple irises on it. Then Carol wrote on the inside,
"Amber, I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your best friend's Dad. Words are hard, at a time like this, but may it help in some way - to know others care - I care. God bless to you and to Seth, Carol."
People have been very kind in the things they have said to me about Tom's death. But I think I felt most comforted by Carol's card.
Carol's card helped me understand why Jesus says that we give to Him when we give to the least. Mother Teresa says it like this: "Whoever the poorest of the poor are, they are Christ for us - Christ under the guise of human suffering." Strange as it may sound, I experienced Christ today when a suffering, lonely, sick woman told me she cared. I am thankful for Carol.