Why We Need A Savior

I'm in an elevator. Enter a 6-yr-old and his mother.

6-YR-OLD: (to his mother) "Buy a dog! Buy a dog! BUY A DOG! I can have whatever I want! YES I CAN!! WhatEVER I want for my 7th birthday. I can have whatever I want and I don't need to ask Abba if I can have it. Because I can have WHATEVER I WANT!"

And why I think that child should get duct tape for his 7th birthday.

My Christmas and my iPhone

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas, or a Happy Hanukkah, for all two of my Jewish readers. Here's wishing you all a Happy Happy New Year.

My parents left yesterday. Something about people leaving in a cab...the goodbyes are brutal. You have to rush all the bags in the trunk and then rush all the hugs because the cab is holding up traffic. Then your parents rush into the cab, and the cabbie rushes away. HE doesn't care that you're still waving, or yelling one last "I love you," or telling your dad how to work the credit card machine in the cab. He's just gone. Pedal to the medal. Your parents have vanished.

BUT, the good news is my brother and his wife are still with us. We saw the Nutcracker tonight at Lincoln Center. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I've never seen the Nutcracker like this. Words can't explain. I want to see every single ballet the New York City Ballet puts on from here on out, for the rest of my life.

The other good news is that my parents left me with my Christmas gift: the upgraded iPhone with the fast and furious 3G internet. It's awesome. I've downloaded a free game of Sudoku and have been playing non-stop. I'm an "Expert" now. Record of 38 minutes.

If any of you know my husband, you know that he is a Mac FANATIC. He got his iPhone last year and tried to convince ME to get one, too. But I, the more patient and logical one, said to him, "Nope, nope, nope. I'm waiting till they upgrade. Those suckers always upgrade and you're left with the crappier one if you bought it too soon." My mom and I went to the Apple store to purchase my new prized item. Seth came along. Here's how it went along the way there.

ME: Ready to go to the Apple store, guys?

SETH: Maybe you should just take my iPhone, and I'll get the upgraded one.

ME: Pfshhh. No.

Here's how it went when we got to the Apple store:

MAC GUY is setting up my account. Then he tells me all about my iPhone.

ME: Ok.....Cool.....Ok.....Yeah.....Ok.

SETH: (interrupting MAC GUY with some computer language I don't understand): 110000101 10010010 0100010 001 010100 101010001 iLiberty 01010010 0100 010101 01101 0001 11101. iLiberty 0101 0111101 1111 000101 101 10001 0101 101010101.

MAC GUY: (distracted from helping me. Turns to Seth): Yeah! 0101001 0101 01010 1000010 10111 001 1001 000 11011 111 11 iLiberty 1111 1001 1010101.

SETH: iLiberty...iLiberty....iLiberty.

MAC GUY: 100101 101 1010101 01101 1010101 10100101 0001 10100101 001 101 1011.

SETH: 0111010 1011 1010110 iLiberty--

ME: HEY! Shut up! This is MY iPhone. MINE. MY time.

This is how it went when we got home from the Apple store:

SETH: Hey, can I see your iPhone?

ME: Pfshhh. No.

It's not that I'm selfish. It's that I told him so. And since I told him so, I have no mercy.

If you lived with Seth, you'd understand the glory in an "I told you so." But seeing as you don't, you may all go on believing that I'm selfish, and that I've lost the meaning of Christmas, and so on and so forth. But I'll go on playing Sudoku and pulling up this here blog faster than he can.

Christmas Time is Here

My parent's arrived yesterday, after two delayed flights and their luggage lost. The good news is they're here. And Laguardia located their luggage. Laguardia over the holidays is never fun.

My parents are staying at our friends' apartment. Our friends, along with their toddler, left this week to see family, and they offered their home to my parents. Our friends live just a block away from us. It's perfect.

We'll be shlepping around the city like crazy tourists. Macy's and Saks today. The Mac store. (Yessss.) And the musical, White Christmas, tonight. My brother and his wife get here the day after Christmas, and my entire family will come see my show on Sunday.

It finally feels like Christmas.

Merry Christmas, folks!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Just a list

A list of things I've done in the past two weeks:

Ate
Sat in the living room with the in-laws
Slept late
Sat outside and watched the hummingbirds
Ate
Sat with my best friend right before and right after she gave birth...for the first time
Held a newborn
Blogged
Loaded pics into Facebook
Ate
Beat my parents in Spades TWO TIMES out of three which makes Seth and I the champions
Played tennis
Watched tennis
Ate
Played tennis again
And again
Watched No Country for Old Men, what's up with that title anyway?
Watched I Am Legend
Helped Mom cook
Ate
Watched a movie I've never heard of before from the 80's with Martin Sheen called Believers.
Watched the end of River Wild. Love that movie
Played Apples to Apples with my family.
Made Appletini's for the first time ever. Think I made 'em a little strong...
Held my dog
Read the newspaper
Drank lots of coffee
Ate
Packed three months into two bags
Cleaned out my purse
Talked to my brother and his wife about their calling to be missionaries. They leave next year.
Got a spa pedicure with mom and my sister-in-law
Talked to my in-laws about politics
Made brownies...twice.
Ate mint chocolate chip ice cream...more than twice.

And now we leave for New York. And I feel really sad. And really excited.

Driving a Standard

Starting the 13 hour drive to Kentucky today. Stopping at Seth's parents for dinner and good night's sleep. We celebrated my sister-in-law's birthday last night. And now I'm off to Target for the last bit of essentials. Man, I love Target. Target is the bomb dot com of all supermarkets. I also went to (drum roll please) Chick-fil-A the first chance I got. Mmmmmm.

For my sister-in-law's birthday, I got her a real cute bag and put lots of random stuff in it, like jellies. (gellies?) Remember those? They were on sale at Target. I bought myself a pair, too, and I'm wearing them today and I can't wait.


I learned to drive a standard. We're driving my brother's car to Kentucky, and it's a standard. My dad took me out and taught me, and I learned it pretty quickly, if I do say so myself. Except then later, when driving to dinner around rush hour time, I thought I'd show off my new driving skills. So four of us piled into the little car. Me in the driver's seat. Dad front passenger side. Mom and Seth in the back. Seth hadn't seen me drive yet. I was ready to show him how cool I looked driving a standard.

Except that I came to a stop on a HILL, wedged between a long line of cars in both directions. I had to keep inching forward on the hill because we were all waiting for people to turn left. I was scared to death because I had only practiced on a hill in our neighborhood with nobody around. My dad said just do everything normal. Just do it quicker so you don't roll into the person behind you.

So I went into first gear quicker, except I also pounded on the gas every time because I was scared, so everytime we moved I squealed the tires like a bat outa hell and went two inches and had to stop again. This happened I think six times in a row. My dad kept yelling at me to stop and I kept yelling at him to stop stressing me out. And mom and Seth were laughing in the backseat. And some funny smell started seeping out from the car.

I had on bad shoes, OK? They were weird flip flop like shoes. When I learned and practiced on the hill in our neighborhood I was wearing gellies. So obviously, the shoes were bad. I'll just wear my jellies when we drive to Kentucky.

My brother and his wife gave me a late b-day present. A book of poetry by Brian Andreas. I love love love it and was up way too late reading it last night. Here's one I like:

Whenever she stood
in line at the bank
or while waiting
for the bus, I noticed
her feet.
The right always in
front and perpendicular
to the left just so.

Even after 2
children she
still dreamed
of being a
dancer.

Title: Ballerina Mom

And looked what happened in New York today. Yeesh.

Birthday Fun and More

Mom and I had a great time in the city. We saw Gypsy with Patti LuPone Saturday night. Wow, what an actress. I love the moments when I'm at the theater and I get a chill up my spine. More like a chill up the neck and behind the ears and then...gone. I wait for that moment. It's when the actor and the music, or the set, or the lights, come together at just the right moment, and this indescribable...thing...happens. What you see is real. Not imaginary, but real. Real life. But better. More powerful. Magic. Patti LuPone made magic on Saturday night.

We had tea at Alice's Teacup. The best scones around. Not me and Patti LuPone. Me and my mom.

We had dinner at Taboon, where my mom couldn't help but tell the waiter it was my birthday, and the waiter couldn't help but put a candle on our chocolate lava cake but to my relief, refrained from singing, and the table next to us couldn't help but start singing anyway, and then the whole restaurant was singing, and then my mom yelled out, "Her name's Amber!"..."Happy BIRthday dear...AMBER!" they all sang, and I couldn't help but bury my face in my hands, and then the old man with shoulder length grey hair came to our table and toasted my youth and my mom for spending it with me, said "his poetry tonight was my youth," (woah - pretty deep stuff there), then he couldn't help but assure me youth doesn't last. Bright smiles. Big toast. Thank you's.

Youth doesn't last.

Thank you for reminding me, dear old man.

I joke about it, but really, is that a necessary reminder?

We shopped at the local thrift stores. I'm telling you, you can score big in these parts.

I got a new pair of running shoes (not at the thrift stores but at the DSW in Union Square) so I no longer have an excuse for not running the park. Ugh. I'm doing it, but I hate running. I'd much rather take a dance class, but wow, it's expensive. My last pair of running shoes lasted me about 8 years. No lie! Obviously, I didn't run in them much.

We killed a roach the size of my big toe - with Pledge and Seth's shoe. The only roach I've EVER seen in this apartment. With Pledge because I didn't have any Raid and it was the quickest solution. It worked! Slowed him down enough for mom to smash him with Seth's shoe while I stood on the couch barefoot. I don't smush roaches. I just can't. I hate that crackling noise when the shoe hits at just the right place.

And my stairwell smells like an animal crawled up the wall somewhere and died. Either that or someone in one of these apartment's is dead and nobody knows it. Creepy. The smell is disgusting. Not in my apartment, thank God, but definitely in the stairwell.

Gross.

Thanks Mom, for a fun-filled (roach and all) birthday weekend. Love you.

Positive Post Tuesday: My husband

I try to avoid too much sap on the ole' blog here. Mostly because it's just kinda embarrassing, like blog PDA or something. But get ready for a sap explosion, because that's what you're about to get.

Today is Positive Post Tuesday. I'm choosing to lift up my husband.

He never ceases to amaze me. Seth is not one easily understood. A number of paradoxes coincide that make up his existence, and when I think I've got him figured out, I'm left scratching my head and wondering where "that" came from. A few examples come to mind:

When I married him I knew he was a creative genius. I knew he was the most inventive, interesting, and intriguing composer I had ever met, and I knew the songs he wrote were more beautiful and honest than anything I could remember. I had no idea he could write a novel, that he even wanted to write a novel. (Not really a paradox. More like a... surprise.) And now I know that in a matter of time he will be a published novelist. Because he's that good. I even have a hunch he'll be a famous novelist.

When I married him I knew he loved God. He could explain Romans 8 to me, and that's saying something. But I had no idea he could curse like a sailor...and somehow it doesn't sound vulgar.

When I married him I knew he was right-brained. Of course, at the time, I had no idea how many times I would find myself on a mission for his keys. But, he hates more than anything to be late.

It's hard to say why you love someone. I love my husband for the way his eyes light up at the mention of Star Wars. For his absolute delight in making a ham and cheese omelette. For the hope that is inside of him. Sometimes I think I love him because of how much he loves me. He has taught me what true love is. He is the reason I am singing, acting, dancing. He believes in me and allows me the chance. He believes in me more than I believe in myself. Without him, I would be less than what I am.

I thank God for bringing this man into my life, through whom I am eternally changed.

Characters

Cast of Characters:

DAD - a logical, extremely smart yet quirky character, governed by reason and funny without trying to be.

MOM - sweet and innocent, yet wise and discerning. Loves to laugh. Likes to be silly. Particularly likes to laugh with me and Brother at Dad.

BROTHER - deep thinker, does randomly weird things on purpose. Likes to laugh. Likes to observe. Particularly likes to laugh with me and Mom at Dad.

BROTHER'S WIFE - deep thinker and seemingly quiet, but not really. Can eat a horse and never gain a pound.

SETH - my husband, creative and funny. Incredibly discerning. Sharp eyes and sharp wit.

ME - doesn't care to write descriptions of herself.

*****************
A conversation with my family at dinner. The family sits at a round table for 6 in the front corner of the restaurant.

ME: (to Brother's Wife) How can you eat all that and stay so thin?

BROTHER'S WIFE: I don't know! I'm sure it'll catch up with me someday.

DAD: (full from a great meal, leans back in his chair, looks at Mom and pats his belly. In a high falsetto, says) Hoo!

MOM: (Laughs and imitates him) Hoo! Ha ha! (looks at me sitting on her other side) Did you hear Dad? He just went "Hoo!" Charles, you sounded like Al Capone in that movie! (She laughs) You know that movie where he's driving that car and he's blind.

DAD: (perplexed) No.

ME: Al Capone? Mom, not Al Capone, it's Al.... (turns to Seth on her other side) Seth, Mom just said Al Capone played in that movie where's he's blind. But it's not Al Capone! It's Al....Al...what is it?

SETH: (dryly) Al Pacino

ME: Al Pacino! (turns to Mom) Al Pacino, Mom! Not Al Capone! (I laugh)

MOM: Al Pacino! Oh! (She laughs) What's that movie again, where he goes "Hoo!"?

ME: No, not "Hoo!" It's "Hoo-yah!"

MOM: Oh yeah. "Hoo-yah!" "Hoo-yah!"

ME: "Hoo-yah!"

MOM: What's the movie?

SETH: (shakes his head) It's "Hoo-AH"

ME: Oh! Oops. "Hoo-AH"

MOM: "Hoo-AH"

SETH: (again, dryly) Scent of a Woman. (turns to Brother and Brother's wife on his other side) Amber does that stuff all the time. Just the other day she was trying to call something "rinky dink" and she called it "dinky rinky." Ya know, a mix between "rinky dink" and "winky dinky."

(All laugh)

DAD: (to Mom) I know, Betty. When you said Al Capone I couldn't figure out what you were talking about. I thought, what did you just watch, The Fugitives?

(All confused)

SETH: (Looks at Dad, eyes squint, slight smile, slightly shakes his head) The Untouchables.

DAD: Oh, that's right, The Untouchables.

(All laugh, except Dad.)

ME: (laughing, to Seth) See where I get it?

(All at the table laugh harder...except Dad. He calmly watches every one laugh.)

SETH: (to Brother and Brother's Wife) Yeah. Like, a while back, we're at the airport in...where were we, Amber?

ME: I don't know. I don't remember. Atlanta or something.

SETH: We were flying Southwest into the airport and she says, "Yeah, I think this airport is a major hubbub." instead of "hub." She was trying to say it was a major Southwest Airlines hub.

(All at the table laugh...except Dad, who is a frequent Southwest Rapid Reward flyer, turns his head sharply to look at me and says, completely serious)

DAD: Atlanta? No, no.

Birthdays

I was in a cab the other day, and I remembered this thing my best friends and I used to do. I had this group of friends in college...we sang together. Traveled the country together, actually, singing and selling our records. But we did more than sing together. We were all a part of each other's lives in this beautiful way, a way in which we could all make a difference to each other. We were a family, really. The "family" sort of extended outward, I guess you could say, and a bunch of people were brought together. I was remembering something we used to do for birthdays and wishing my actual family would have done this for my brother's birthday.

To celebrate birthdays, we used to get a bunch of people together at someone's apartment, have cake and ice cream or whatever. Then we'd pull up chairs into a cozy fashion of sorts and have a "time of affirmation" for the celebrated person. That person sat while everyone took turns saying something affirming about him/her. Something about his or her character, something that person had done, anything at all that encouraged that person in who he or she was. In that way we celebrated his or her life. We remembered how thankful we were that God had placed that life in ours. There were always a lot of laughs and a whole lot of tears. But it was the best present anyone could get. On your birthday you knew more than anything that you were loved.

I wish we would have done that for my brother this week. I look forward to making new friends here and carrying on the tradition.

Thanks, Brody, for Positive Post Tuesday. I may not be diligent enough to remember to join in, but thank you for celebrating the lives of those you love and encouraging others to do the same thing.

Thank you, Zagat

My brother's birthday is next week, but we celebrated Sunday, for the obvious reason that we're all together this week. (Which means, Mom and Dad, to be fair, all of you have to come again next month to celebrate my birthday. It's only fair.)

So because it was my brother's birthday, he got to choose the restaurant. Well, he got to choose the kind of restaurant. I was, naturally, in charge of what restaurant since I live here and like to plan. Here's the conversation between me and my brother.

Me: So where do you want to go eat tonight for your birthday?

Brother: Oh, we're doing that tonight?

Me: Yeah

Brother: I didn't know we were doing that tonight.

Me: Well...now you do. Tonight.

Me: So where do you want to go?

Brother: I don't know. I'll think about it and tell you later.

Me: OK

Later, on the phone

Me: So where do you want to go tonight?

Brother: Oh....I don't know, really.

Me: Well...what kind of food are you in the mood for?

Brother: Ummmm...I don't know.

Me: Italian, French, American, Mexican.....

Brother: Uh....I don't know, let me call you back.

Me: OK.

Later, again on the phone

Me: So, what do you think? What kind of food are you in the mood for?

Brother: I was thinking, like, Lebanese, Middle Eastern-ish, Israeli....

Me: .....

Brother: Mediteranean. Well, not really Mediteranean. More, Middle Eastern.

Me: ....

Brother: Ya know?

Me: Uh....like Greek?

Brother: No, not really Greek. More Lebanese. Middle Eastern.

Me: Lebanese. OK....huh....

*****

I think his wife and I looked for at least 45 minutes for the right place. It didn't help that neither of us knew what Lebanese or Middle Eastern food was like. BUT! Thanks to our trusty black Zagat book! and superb googling skills, his wife and I found just the place. Called Taboon. And WOW was it good. GOOD. Some of the best food I've eaten here. The most incredible freshly made bread with hummus...the most tasty falafel...a scrumptious beet salad....the most tender fall-off-the-bone rib meat topped with butternut squash over couscous....and a very refreshing Bellini, a perfect birthday dinner.

A surprising,...particular,...and perfect birthday dinner.

The Fam's Comin'

I just saw them, but lucky for me, my family's coming to NYC tomorrow for my brother's Spring Break. It's the family vacation this year. We've been planning it for a while now, primary reason being, my family loves to PLAN. Man, can we plan! Unlike Seth's family, who have no idea what they're gonna do until 5 minutes before they do it. Every time. Always. It's how it is. It's how it always will be. My family, however, gets irritable and grumpy without a plan. Except for my brother. He's the laid back one of the family. Or maybe it's just that we've always planned for him, so why should he start now?

Since we've moved to New York, I've seen my parents more than when we lived in Texas. Pretty cool, actually. My dad has business to attend to here, so my mom tags along, and it's always a blast. No matter what we're doing, my mom has this way of making it hilariously fun. Take for instance, last time they were here. Seth and I had just moved from the ganuf's building into our newfound haven, and Mom and Dad helped us get moved in and situated. This is me and mom making a "shower caddy."

I mean, really, how fun can it be? Soooo much fun.

Doesn't get much more fun than that.

While my dad slaves away in the next room, doing this:

Yep. Putting up shelves. As many of you handy people know, he's finding the studs with the nifty stud-finder. Seth kept wondering why the thing didn't light up and beep when it passed him....

You better believe it, we had planned for those shelves to be put up. Right down to the hour of day. And don't feel sorry for ole' dad. He loves it! No, really. He loves it! I think he might just put up shelves all day long if he could. It's like a puzzle to him.

"Hmmmm...now why is this showing studs 16 inches apart here (finger thumps the wall twice) but then 12 inches apart here? And then LOOK, I get here and it's like a big huge solid...(moves the stud finder over the same area about 12 times) something.... Concrete. (Decisively) It's gotta be concrete, or maybe brick. Nope. The shelves won't work there. Let's try over here...hmmmm."

But watch out, Seth. With dad around, you're doin' stuff you never even IMAGINED you could do!

That's Seth putting up a hand towel ring on the wall. Dad approves.

While I've been blessed to see my parents often, I haven't seen much of my brother at all. He still lives in Texas. He and his wife attend a missionary training school and plan to go overseas as missionaries in the near future. They were able to come see my show in Houston. My brother gave me a Belle doll after the show. It is now a permanent decorative fixture in our apartment. Here's me, my brother, and the doll. It made my night to see them there.:

Handsome guy, huh? And here's his gorgeous wife sitting next to him at the show, and his wife's sister next to her:

They are a beautiful couple, both with hearts sensitive to the Lord and hungry for His Word and the gospel of Christ. I'm not ready for them to move so far away. But I'm thankful for these next few days with them. Love you guys. See ya soon!

H-town

I have never been more glad to be in Houston than in these past two days. The most beautiful day in the whole history of Houston was Sunday. 60's. Big clear blue sky. Birds singing right outside my window. In FEBRUARY!!

I took a walk Monday. One, because it was such a beautiful day. Two, because I'm so used to walking around town that it's not right to stay holed up in a house or in a car, or wherever. And three, because I can't get enough of that Texas sky. It was always one of my favorite things about Houston.

Almost as good as my friends here. I'm having such a good time visiting my friends that I, at times, wonder why we left at all. I wonder for a fleeting moment, and then I remember. I know we were right to leave. But it makes me long for heaven when we won't ever have to leave our friends, our family. Or if we physically leave them, no big deal, right? Because it all goes on forever and we'll be back in no time. Literally, no time. Which is weird. I've taken the notion of writing everyone a letter. A big, sappy letter to every person I know in Houston. Even my (guys, close your eyes)...girlie doctor, who I visited on Monday. She was so nice to me that I wanted to write her a letter. A letter to my OB/GYN? Yeah. It's kind of ridiculous. Even my dentist! Who I visited today, for only $10. Heck, I should write my insurance company a letter!

I rehearse in the evenings, so my days are play time, basically. I wake up late. (A little like heaven, too, I think.) I make coffee. I sometimes watch Ellen. I go to doctors and run errands. I get my toes and eyebrows done with my friend, Super Churchlady. And then I go be Belle for the evening. It's...I don't know...it's...INCREDIBLE.

When I first got here on Thursday, it felt like I had left a week ago. I remembered everything so perfectly. It was like New York was a vacation and I was coming home. Then I woke up the next day and felt nostalgic and out of place. Like everything was so foreign and strange. And NOW, I want to write everyone a letter. This is so weird and good and fun and sad.... I'm a mess.

Two Weeks and One Day Ago

My husband almost died two weeks and one day ago. From choking on an oyster cracker. I came home that day and found Seth sitting in his favorite brown leather desk chair. A sight I'm used to and one that I like. He would turn around and smile and say hi. He turned, but instead of a smile and a hello, said I'd never guess what happened to him that day. When he told me, I told him what I tell my one-year-old boy that I babysit, "Chew, baby. Chew." But that was after I knelt beside my husband and cried with my arms around his neck.

As I held onto him, I thought of what I would do if I lost him. How empty and unsafe I would feel. Empty. How my life isn't meant to be lived without him. It wouldn't be right. It doesn't make sense. And how could God let that happen? How it all seems up to chance. That God isn't in control. If he was how could Seth have almost died? Where was God's protection? It's all pandemonium. God leaves us all to chance, and a faulty bite at dinner could strip my best friend in the world from me. Thirty more seconds, and he could have been gone from my life in an instant.

And I suppose you think, but he didn't die. Right. He didn't. And maybe you're also thinking, God WAS protecting him. He didn't die. And you'd be right. You are right. And thankfully within a reasonable time, I began to have those thoughts, too.

But what if he had died? People die every day. Seth will die one day. Maybe even before me. Maybe I'll have time to prepare. Maybe it will happen when I least expect it. No matter what, it will feel like the end of my world. It will feel empty. It will feel unsafe. And what will I think then? Will I think it all chance and that God had turned away from me?

We sang at Redeemer Presbyterian here in New York this past Sunday: "Give Me Jesus," which Seth adapted from the well-known spiritual and added his own verses and bridge. I think they liked it, but I remember the sermon that Tim Keller preached. He preached from a passage in Job, about the fear of God amidst despair. That when despair enters our lives, what we really need more than anything, what Job realized he needed, the only answer to it all, is wisdom. And wisdom comes from the fear of God. Those who have not the fear of God have not wisdom. They are fools.

He described the fear of God, as not so much a scary fear, like the fear of an intruder, or the fear of what any bad person or person with bad intentions might do to me. The fear of God is believing in the purest good, even when that good allows for bad. This is wisdom: Realizing that yes, the world at times works the way it should. Hard work equals reward. Following God equals blessing. Following the rules equals fair. BUT the world is fallen. And alot of the times it doesn't work the way it should. Hard work ends in suffering. Following God ends in despair. And nothing is fair. Wisdom is knowing in these times, that we serve a God, who, actually, (yes), allows all around us to be black and dismal, allows the bad to enter our lives, does NOT prevent it, and at the same time, not only has control of our lives, but loves us more than we can imagine...as we struggle through the darkness and hurt through the despair and beat our fists demanding justice. Amidst the darkest despair, TRUSTING and BELIEVING in that all-powerful goodness, in that love, and ultimately in the justness of it all. That is fearing God. That is wisdom.

Will I have learned wisdom when that time of despair comes? Will I forget that this world is fallen, that it doesn't follow the everlasting law of God? That it yearns for restoration? That it will be restored. Will I be a fool?

Job 28:12: "But where can wisdom be found...?"

Job 28:28: And he said to man,
'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom,..."

Christmas Time

It's been a while. Sorry bout that. The show's going well, but leaving little time for blogging, since on my days off, I'm trying to make more money and spending it Christmas shopping. I'm paid to do the show, but, well, let's just say my paycheck leaves much to be desired, or much to be NEEDED...you know, for rent and nonessential things like that. But all is well! All is well. 'Tis the season for yuletide and carols, and the city is the best place to be in a season such as this. My Christmas season has truly begun. Yesterday we went to see the Rockettes with my parents, who are in town to see my show. And see my show, they did. Twice, in fact, because on Saturday night I got to go on as "Violet," which was nerve racking and fun all at the same time. So they came again on Sunday to see me in the ensemble. The Rockettes were really great. We saw the 75th anniversary Christmas Spectacular show, and it was quite enjoyable.What is it about girls kicking in a straight line that's so cool, and who figured that out? It was a full day with the parents yesterday. Brunch at Good Enough To Eat, one of our favorite restaurants down the street, a quick cab ride to Radio City Music Hall for a chance at getting into the 2 o'clock show, success, lots of sparkle and lots of leg, a warming cup of hot chocolate, a last minute trip to the Museum of Modern Art, where artists attempt to prove how inanimate objects arranged in puzzling formations is art, a brisk walk to Rockefeller Center to see the tree, dinner at Virgil's Barbecue (Oh yum), dessert at Nonna's, then back home to play two games of Scrabble, the first of which I came in second to my father, and the second of which I whupped major heinie, especially that of my dear husband, which is saying something because he ALWAYS beats me in Scrabble. ALWAYS. But NO LONGER. I am the champion.

And my show was reviewed by the New York Times. The picture below is from the article. The reviewer liked the cast and the new theater, but didn't think the show measured up to the movie. I get that. But come on. Everyone knows that nothing can measure up to the movie. Get real. Listen to the story. It's told well, and it's a life-changing story. And in my opinion, the music is really good. Resembles Sondheim. Great lyrics. But it's a critic's job, so whatever. Here's the article.


I'm the first girl from right to left. You can see my little head directly above the guy kneeling.

Caution: Proactive Provides Damaging Solutions

This is the stuff I use to wash my face. As you can very well see, Jessica Simpson uses it, too. At least she says she does. At least she makes bazookoos of money saying she does. But, I'm wondering...does it bleach Jessica's eyebrows, too?

A curious phenomenom is occurring on my face. The very top of my eyebrows (usually brown, naturally to match my hair) are turning bleach blond. But it's just the top of my eyebrows. So right now my eyebrows are somewhat two-toned.

I first noticed this about two months ago when talking to Seth. As he pretended to listen to me ramble on about whatever, his focus kept shifting from my eyes to my eyebrows. I finally stopped to ask.

"What are you looking at?"

Seth furrowed his own brow, ultimately perplexed. "Your eyebrows are changing colors."

"My eyebrows are changing colors?"

He studied my eyebrows intensely. "Yeah, just the top."

"What?" I reached for the mirror in my bag. "Oh, weird. Yeah, they're changing colors. Maybe's its the way the sun hits them in New York when I have my sunglasses on." (Hey, it was the best I could come up with.)

I resumed telling my story, but not without intermittent pauses as I waited while Seth sat distracted by my eyebrows.

Then, as I talked to my mom on a recent visit to Oklahoma, she stopped me mid-sentence and moved closer to examine my face.

"Amber, did you know your eyebrows are changing colors?" she asked, quite concerned. Then she laughed.

"OK. This is ridiculous. Yes, I know my eyebrows are changing colors. Is it that bad?"

Later my mom called. She had an idea. What if my facewash that I've been using for the past...oh...6 years or so has been accidentally getting into my eyebrows all this time, and now the effects are showing. And sure enough, as I washed my face that night, I saw that my facewash has been dripping into the top of my eyebrows...for 6 years!

So I'm wondering if Jessica has this problem, too, and what she's doing to remedy it. I don't want to change my facewash. I like it. It works. But I can't go walking around with two-toned eyebrows. Jessica, you're the only one who can help. Save me. What do I do?

Father's Day Flub

I mailed my dad a Father's Day card that never arrived at my parents' house. After cursing the American mail system, and amicably arguing with my mother, insisting that it is highly unlikely someone would have intercepted the card along the way in hopes of finding cash, I decided that I would send my dad a card that couldn't be lost. At least not in the immediate future. Here it is.

Dear Dad,

Remember when I was 6, and Grandmother gave us her piano, and when it arrived at our house in Corpus Christi, I stood behind you and watched you play.
Remember the family "rassling" matches where our chief objective was to find out how in the world to tickle you without getting tickled first, and how you could somehow pin me, Eric, and Mom down with one arm and tickle us all at one time. We won on occasion, but only because mom got free and was the only one who could make you laugh.
Remember how you taught me to pitch in slow-pitch softball, and how we would practice in the front yard for hours. I could strike 'em out because you taught me how to pitch with an arch high enough to fool the batter, but drop right behind the plate. It got'em every time.
Remember how I could usually get out of a spanking with No daddy No daddy No daddy, pleeeeeease!
Remember that game we used to play, where I tried to match my footsteps to yours.
Remember how you could always help me with my math homework.
Remember how I used to show all my friends that came over this picture of you:
because I thought it was so cool that my dad used to have an afro, and "he even got it permed sometimes." (Heh heh)

I remember how you never missed a show, or a solo, or a game, or a recital, even if you had to drive miles and miles. That you've always encouraged me to follow my dreams, that you've always been right behind me, smiling, nodding, helping. That mom is the love of your life, that your work gave me opportunity, that your worry was my security. That I could look at you and know that my husband should be like that. And he is.

Thank you for loving me....
for better....

or for worse...

I love you, Dad.

Happy Father's Day,
Your One and Only Daughter....

It was a Good Try...

8 and 1/2 hours to Tulsa, Oklahoma. 8 1/2 hours back. 17 hours total. That's how many hours we spent in the car this weekend for my father-in-law's surprise 60th birthday party. Only to find out, upon arrival in Tulsa, that the party was no longer a surprise. Someone accidentally spilled the beans.

At least they didn't tell us before we arrived. When you drive that many hours in a short amount of time, it helps to know that when you get there, you'll get the satisfaction of seeing a 60-year-old man flip out when he realizes that his family drove from across Texas to tell him they love him.

AHHhhhh, oh well. I love my in-laws, so I was excited to see them, surprise or no surprise. And my father-in-law was grinning from ear to ear the entire party.


He couldn't have cared less if it was a surprise.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

I've been thinking alot lately about how much I love CINNAMON. Cinnamon and Zacchaeus, that's what I've been thinking about. A great number of my favorite things to eat include cinnamon. When I was a little girl, my dad would make cinnamon toast on the weekends. I was so excited to get out of bed on Saturdays because I knew that Dad would be in the kitchen. And I would sit down at the table in my PJ's with scrappy hair and ask Dad to make me Cinnamon Toast. He would mix cinnamon and sugar together. Sometimes it was already mixed together in a plastic container. Butter the bread. Sprinkle LOTS of the cinnamon and sugar mixture onto the buttered bread. Place the bread on a cookie sheet. And put it in the oven until the butter melted, and the cinnamon sugar would soak into the butter and get all mushy, but the outside of the bread would toast at the same time. Oh MAN was it good, right out of the oven. So, in honor of my dad's famous Cinnamon Toast, here are my top 10 favorite cinnamon items.

10) Spiced Cider brewed all day over the stove at Christmas

9) Brach's Cinnamon hard candy

8) Old Fasioned Cinnamon Donuts from Dunkin Donuts

7) Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal

6) Cinnamon Wheat Thins (These are new and incredibly delicious.)

5) Snickerdoodles!

4) Cinnamon Graham Crackers (spread some peanut butter on these, and wow.)

3) Cinnamon Raisen Bread

2) Cinnamon Vanilla Creme coffee creamer

1) CINNAMON TOAST!!!