Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My Christmas and my iPhone

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas, or a Happy Hanukkah, for all two of my Jewish readers. Here's wishing you all a Happy Happy New Year.

My parents left yesterday. Something about people leaving in a cab...the goodbyes are brutal. You have to rush all the bags in the trunk and then rush all the hugs because the cab is holding up traffic. Then your parents rush into the cab, and the cabbie rushes away. HE doesn't care that you're still waving, or yelling one last "I love you," or telling your dad how to work the credit card machine in the cab. He's just gone. Pedal to the medal. Your parents have vanished.

BUT, the good news is my brother and his wife are still with us. We saw the Nutcracker tonight at Lincoln Center. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I've never seen the Nutcracker like this. Words can't explain. I want to see every single ballet the New York City Ballet puts on from here on out, for the rest of my life.

The other good news is that my parents left me with my Christmas gift: the upgraded iPhone with the fast and furious 3G internet. It's awesome. I've downloaded a free game of Sudoku and have been playing non-stop. I'm an "Expert" now. Record of 38 minutes.

If any of you know my husband, you know that he is a Mac FANATIC. He got his iPhone last year and tried to convince ME to get one, too. But I, the more patient and logical one, said to him, "Nope, nope, nope. I'm waiting till they upgrade. Those suckers always upgrade and you're left with the crappier one if you bought it too soon." My mom and I went to the Apple store to purchase my new prized item. Seth came along. Here's how it went along the way there.

ME: Ready to go to the Apple store, guys?

SETH: Maybe you should just take my iPhone, and I'll get the upgraded one.

ME: Pfshhh. No.

Here's how it went when we got to the Apple store:

MAC GUY is setting up my account. Then he tells me all about my iPhone.

ME: Ok.....Cool.....Ok.....Yeah.....Ok.

SETH: (interrupting MAC GUY with some computer language I don't understand): 110000101 10010010 0100010 001 010100 101010001 iLiberty 01010010 0100 010101 01101 0001 11101. iLiberty 0101 0111101 1111 000101 101 10001 0101 101010101.

MAC GUY: (distracted from helping me. Turns to Seth): Yeah! 0101001 0101 01010 1000010 10111 001 1001 000 11011 111 11 iLiberty 1111 1001 1010101.

SETH: iLiberty...iLiberty....iLiberty.

MAC GUY: 100101 101 1010101 01101 1010101 10100101 0001 10100101 001 101 1011.

SETH: 0111010 1011 1010110 iLiberty--

ME: HEY! Shut up! This is MY iPhone. MINE. MY time.

This is how it went when we got home from the Apple store:

SETH: Hey, can I see your iPhone?

ME: Pfshhh. No.

It's not that I'm selfish. It's that I told him so. And since I told him so, I have no mercy.

If you lived with Seth, you'd understand the glory in an "I told you so." But seeing as you don't, you may all go on believing that I'm selfish, and that I've lost the meaning of Christmas, and so on and so forth. But I'll go on playing Sudoku and pulling up this here blog faster than he can.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Christmas Time is Here

My parent's arrived yesterday, after two delayed flights and their luggage lost. The good news is they're here. And Laguardia located their luggage. Laguardia over the holidays is never fun.

My parents are staying at our friends' apartment. Our friends, along with their toddler, left this week to see family, and they offered their home to my parents. Our friends live just a block away from us. It's perfect.

We'll be shlepping around the city like crazy tourists. Macy's and Saks today. The Mac store. (Yessss.) And the musical, White Christmas, tonight. My brother and his wife get here the day after Christmas, and my entire family will come see my show on Sunday.

It finally feels like Christmas.

Merry Christmas, folks!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Umbrella Walking

It snowed yesterday. Quite a bit. All day long. I don't know how many inches, but it was a lot. This is me out in the snow.

Note two things in the picture above. 1) The UGGS. 2) The Umbrella. The UGGS turned up useless by the end of the day because surprisingly and unfortunately, UGGS are not waterproof. My socks spent the latter half of the day drying over the heater in our living room. The Umbrella however (yes, with a capital "U,") was my hero.

Umbrella walking in New York City is not an easy task. It is not a task like crossing the street, which becomes more instinctual with time. Umbrella walking simply sucks. Each time. Every time. It is not fun. It is painful. And it is unfair. All this because people don't give a rat's boohiney about how their umbrellas invade your space, or poke your eye out, or scrape your head, or catch and pull your hair. It's each man for himself. Stay dry no matter the cost.

I have often wondered, why am I the one who always moves my umbrella out of the way for YOU. Why am I always the one who sees the man or woman about to pass me and lifts my umbrella higher than the oncoming traveler's so that the two umbrellas do not interlock and mangle themselves to pieces. Why do I have to get extra wet because I'm avoiding a gazillion little pokey things that could have a detrimental effect on my face.

And fancied friends, I have come up with a solution to my quandary, and the answer lies in that picture you see at the beginning of this post.

See how that Umbrella is very LARGE?

Hmmmm? See it?

That's the solution! That's the answer! You see, before yesterday I was walking around with a rinky dink umbrella that flipped inside out with every gust of wind. It was a mere child's thing! Useless. Weak. UNmenacing. Shrinking back from every bully umbrella that came its way. A disgrace to the umbrella race it was. A disgrace to the umbrella race.

But NOW. I've upgraded. Yesterday I was walking along and all of the sudden a man next to me said, "Woah!" and had to do a Neo (you know, like one of those slow motioned back bends) to avoid my Umbrella. As I walked the block I noticed those around me swerve and duck and dive and maneuver, while I peacefully walked along on the ever so beautiful white winter day.

I returned home with wet feet and both eyes.

My Umbrella. My hero.

Monday, December 15, 2008

That's Entertainment

Warm day today. Like, 64...66 degrees. Very odd for this time of year. But, you don't really care about the weather in New York City. Do you?

Mayor Bloomberg is making budget cuts for all New York City agencies, which includes the Sanitation, Police, and Fire Departments.

A slew of Broadway shows will be closing early 2009, Gypsy being the latest to release its news. Grease, Hairspray, Spamalot, Spring Awakening, 13, Boeing-Boeing, and Young Frankenstein are some of the others joining it in its farewell.

But you don't really want to hear about how the hard economic times are affecting New York City. Do you?

Wouldn't you rather hear about which movies I've watched recently?

Here they are, all fantastic:


Sleepless in Seattle

Fargo (Oh geez, Margie)

27 Dresses (not AS fantastic, but still pretty good)

The Prestige

Sullivan's Travels

Rear Window

Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf

A Streetcar Named Desire

Here's a list of the ones on my Netflix queue, coming up!:

Strangers on a Train

The Birds


Notes on a Scandal

Billy Elliot

A Cry in the Dark

All About Eve


The Philadelphia Story

Anyone got any great movie ideas, old classics or not-so-old classics that I should add to my queue? Or just ones you love?

Those Were the Days

Those were the days when
the china was out
and the rug was new
and the bed in our room
was always a bed.
And suitors came knocking
And buyers came gawking
And the dish ran away with the spoon.
Yes, the dish ran away with the spoon.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Not tired.

Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired.

I'm telling you, this works better than counting sheep.

Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired.

A couple days ago, I picked up a guitar for the first time in ages. To play something OTHER than Coal Miner's Daughter and Delta Dawn, which I played one too many times this summer, and sang with a fake Southern accent while dressed in pigtails.

I'm starting to crave the recording studio again, and singing as myself instead of whoever.

But I DO love being imaginary people. The only thing with being an imaginary person is that it takes me a LONG time to wind down after returning to my real self, and now I can't sleep.

Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired.

It's working.

Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired.

I also tried eating graham crackers (they're actually graham cracker sticks) dipped in peanut butter. That may be helping. I hope we don't find out one day that crackers lead to some kind of incurable disease, because I'd be doomed. DOOMED. It used to be Wheat Thins and Triscuits. But after, oh maybe 8 years of those two kinds of crackers being staples in my diet, I've moved on to Kashi 7-grain. They're delicious! And now I'm into these Back to Nature Cinnamon Graham Sticks. Back to Nature also makes a very good cheese cracker. Much like the Cheese Nips or Cheezits or whatever except they're less fat. And all natural. This is just out of control, this cracker business.

Ya know what I think it is? I used to be a cereal connoisseur. Cereal was my go-to snack. But nowadays, cereal is ridiculously expensive, and if I snacked on cereal, I'd eat myself into financial instability. That must be what started this whole economic downfall in the United States. It's the cereal! Nobody could afford their mortgage payments because they ate too much cereal! Well, I am way too responsible for that nonsense and have cut my snacking expenses in half by substituting crackers for cereal. I should write a book on solving the financial crisis. It would be titled: Eat Less Cereal!

Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired.

I've got double shows tomorrow. Matinee and Evening. It's 5:04 AM. This is not good.

Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired. Not tired.

But getting sleepy....

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Nanny Diaries

The 7-year-old and I have just finished two games of War (the card game.) The 7-year-old lies back, very still, and stares at the ceiling.

ME: Whatcha thinkin' Lincoln?...Huh?

7-YEAR-OLD: (Sigh)...I'm in love with someone!

ME: (laughing, can't help it) You ARE?!?! Who?!?!

7-YEAR-OLD: I'm in love with Eleanor! She kissed me on the LIPS!! I'm going to marry her.

ME: When did she kiss you on the lips?

7-YEAR-OLD: And we even went to dinner and there was a two-seater and we sat at the table by ourselves and it was like we were dating!

ME: Woah!

7-YEAR-OLD: Yes! And we even shared our drink and our food!!!

ME: Wow, that really is like a date!

7-YEAR-OLD: Well, just our food. We had our own drinks. And I got down on my knees and begged and begged her to marry me. I said, (he gets on his knees and puts his hands together in prayer fashion) "Please! Please! Please! MAAAAARRY MEEEEE!"

ME: Did she say yes?

7-YEAR-OLD: Uh-huh!

ME: Did Eleanor kiss you on the lips BEFORE or AFTER you asked her to marry you?

7-YEAR-OLD: (thinking) .....Before. But I think I'll have to kiss her again at the wedding. Won't I?

ME: Yes, you will.

7-YEAR-OLD: Will I HAVE to?

ME: Yes, you have to kiss her at the wedding.

7-YEAR-OLD: Why? Because that's what makes us married, right?

ME: Because it's tradition. Yes you will have to kiss Eleanor at your wedding.

7-YEAR-OLD: (He smiles and flops on the floor and buries his face into the rug.) Oh just thinking about it makes me sweat!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Riddle Me This

A few weeks ago at rehearsal during dinner break, discussing the wonderful-ness of dessert:

ME: My friend owns her own cookie company. She's a baker. And she makes the most AMAZING cookies. I'm serious. Her cookies are the Tom and Jerry's of cookies. Mmmmmm. (I continue eating my dinner, happily remembering my friend's cookies. My actor friends are silent.)


ACTOR FRIEND 1: (Confused) Tom and Jerry's. What's Tom and Jerry's?

ACTOR FRIEND 2: (Confused) Tom and Jerry's is that cartoon with the cat and the mouse.

ACTOR FRIEND 1: Did you mean BEN and Jerry's?

Laugh laugh laugh. Ha ha ha.

ME: Yeah. Ben and Jerry's.

Laugh laugh laugh. Ha ha ha.

ME: Story of my life.


Between shows this weekend, discussing sausage. (Have no idea how and why we were discussing sausage.)

ACTOR FRIEND: I'm not really a sausage link person. I'm more of a patty person.

ME: Yeah. Just give me the James Dean. That's all I want.


ME: .....

ME: Jimmy Dean. Jimmy Dean. Dangit!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Nanny Diaries

Ring! Ring!

7-YEAR-OLD: I'LL GET IT!!! I'll GET IT!!!!!

ME: Say B----- residence.

7-YEAR-OLD: (Picks up phone) B---- residence speaking.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Up and Running!

Oliver officially opened this past Saturday at the Engeman Theater in Northport, NY.

If you're around and would like to see the show, just click on the Engeman link above for tickets.

All is well! The show's going great. Here's a few pics. Hopefully more to come.

Our set.

The boys.

"I'd Do Anything" That's me back there standing with Oliver and Fagin

Me as Bet

Me as a "Buyer"

Opening Night Extravaganza:

Me and Michelle DeJean (Nancy)

Me and the boys, Troy (Dodger), Larry (Charlie), and Jake.

Me and Neal Benari (Fagin)

Me and Steph (Charlotte) and Rob Gallagher (Bill Sykes)

Me and Oliver!