Saturday, January 31, 2009

Nanny Diaries

I arrive at my nannying destination. 7-year-old boy is in trouble and in his room. He's crying. 2-yr-old boy is NOT in trouble, and 7-year-old thinks 2-year-old should get the same punishment as he does, even though 2-yr-old didn't do anything wrong.

7-yr-old emerges from his room for dinner. 2-yr-old is already in high chair, and through the following discourse is only half paying attention, very happy about eating his food. Dad is sitting down at the table. Mom is putting food is front of them all. I'm...trying to make myself useful.

7-YR-OLD: (whining) Why did you give me a baby bowl?? I don't WANT a baby bowl!

DAD: It's fine. Eat what's been given you.

7-YR-OLD: But I don't WANT this baby bowl!! I'm not eating this!! Put it in another bowl!

DAD: The bowl's fine. You don't need another one.

7-YR-OLD: YES I DO! I'm not eating this until you put it into another bowl!

DAD: There's no reason to dirty another bowl.

7-YR-OLD: I NEED another bowl!

DAD: That's enough! To your room. Now. Don't come out until you can speak nicely.

7-YR-OLD: (glares at Dad)

DAD: Now. To your room.

7-YR-OLD: (still glaring)

DAD: NOW. One...

2-YR-OLD: Two! Three!

7-YR-OLD: (to 2-Yr-Old) You are SO mean! You STAY OUT OF THIS! You have NOTHING to do with this!

7-yr-old stomps out of the kitchen, into his room, crying dramatically. He cries and yells to himself in his room, or maybe to his stuffed animals? Dinner is finished. Dad and Mom and 2-yr-old go to the opposite side of the apartment. I'm still in the kitchen. I hear from the 7-yr-old's room: (He's still crying and wailing to himself.)

7-YR-OLD: These are the LAST WORDS BEFORE I DIE! THE LAST WORDS BEFORE I DIE!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Eyelash Trouble

I just pulled out a clump of my eyelashes. Like, probably four or five. At one time.

I spent the last ten minutes asking Seth if he could see a space where they came out, and googling "Do eyelashes grow back."

I found out that yes, they grow back, and it usually takes 4 - 8 weeks.

Unless you have a hypothyroid problem.

?!?!?!?!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Untitled

Sometimes the world opens.
It says yes.
Or maybe it just says nothing.
A blank white screen with blinking cursor.
The sun's warmth upon a turned corner.

Silence.

Allowing words, allowing steps, allowing thought.
Action.
The poet's canvas.

And if the world is silent...we ask.
Our creation: a mere question,
Dialogue between the created and its creator.
Ask before the world closes.
Ask. Ask. Ask.
Before the screen goes dark and the sun dips behind the building
Or before the clanging.
Before pain, before duty, before the quickening steps,
Ask when the world opens.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

8:42 AM:

Got up at 6. Put on a cute little audition dress. Layered up. Threw my dress shoes in my bag. Pulled on my UGGS. Tromped over to Starbucks. Got a double tall skim caramel macchiato. Tromped over and down to the subway. Went to my audition. Found out they weren't seeing non-Eq. Turned right back around. Tromped over and down to the subway. Am home in my cozy apartment.

It's OK. It MIGHT be possible that in the rush of the morning routine...I didn't shave my legs.

TMI?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Why We Need A Savior

I'm in an elevator. Enter a 6-yr-old and his mother.

6-YR-OLD: (to his mother) "Buy a dog! Buy a dog! BUY A DOG! I can have whatever I want! YES I CAN!! WhatEVER I want for my 7th birthday. I can have whatever I want and I don't need to ask Abba if I can have it. Because I can have WHATEVER I WANT!"

And why I think that child should get duct tape for his 7th birthday.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

New Things I Like in the New Year

Some new things I like a whole lot lately:


Sudoku: completely addicting.


Haagen Daz Vanilla Raspberry Swirl Frozen Yogurt: delicious and refreshing.


Brussel Sprouts: can you believe it? I made them tonight to look like the picture above.


Superfood: it looks gross but tastes SO good.


Sleeping Pills: obviously


Gap Body Lotion: These I liked all last year but just started using them every day because it gets so dry here.


MacBook: because it kicks major hynie.


My iPhone: because it's rad.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Hello fancied friends. I'm sitting at an audition waiting to be seen, typing this from my iPhone. Just because I can! It's 9:30 am. Back to the grueling life of the auditionee. 6 am mornings. The last two mornings I was supposed to get up at 6 am and overslept my alarm because I couldn't go to sleep the night before. Well! No more of that.

Drugs.

Last night I took drugs. Good ole over the counter sleeping pills. I fell asleep at 11:30 pm. This is a record for me, folks. Of course I woke up at 2 am and had the weirdest sleep for the rest of the night. I kept thinking I couldn't go to sleep and then I'd look at the clock and it was way later than I thought. The I woke up at 6:30 this morning with these weird images of my dream, even though I thought I hadn't slept. So, maybe not the best sleep ever but I feel nice and rested this morning.

Drugs will be had tonight again.

The plan is to try to get myself into a routine and then I won't need them anymore. That's the plan, anyways.

**************************************

UPDATE: 11:34 AM

I was seen at my audition, very early into the process, like at 10:34 AM or something. Considering the call started at 10 AM, that's pretty rad. There was one guy behind the table, who was a casting assistant, and one accompanist. Both were very grumpy. After I finished singing (it was a good audition), the man behind the table grumpily said thank you, and I cheerily, (I was cheery because I knew I had given a good audition), turned to the accompanist to retrieve my music, smiled, and told him in so many words, "Great playing. That was a lot of fun." (Because it was, and sometimes those accompanists are really bad, and it just came out of my mouth.) My cheery disposition was met with a sarcastic and rude, "Uh-huh." To which I ultimately ignored and left the room, my cheery disposition in tact. So be grumpy all you want, rude people, but you're certainly not going to ruin my day today because I've made up my mind to not be reactionary. You'll end up having the bad day because you couldn't enjoy yourself even though you chose to listen to a bunch of people scream all day. Not my problem. Best of luck. Sincerely, FancyPants.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Nanny Diaries

7-YR-OLD: Is Hitler a bad word?

ME: No, Hitler's not a bad word. Hitler was a bad man.

7-YR-OLD: He was a VERY evil man.

ME: Yes, he was. You don't want to go around calling people Hitler, though.

7-YR-OLD: Hitler's in hell.

ME: Wellll...I understand why you would say that, but we shouldn't say he's in hell.

7-YR-OLD: But he did very bad things, and very bad people go to hell.

ME: Wellllll...still, we shouldn't say he's in hell.

7-YR-OLD: Why not? He is, though. He IS in hell.

ME: We shouldn't say that people are in hell because that's only something God can say. We leave that up to God.

7-YR-OLD: Oh. Well I didn't know that.

ME: It's OK. Now you do.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Untitled

It's the light in your eyes
that reveals what was past
and reminds me of what will be.
And I wonder, will I see the light from your eyes
in his?
Will it speak on its own accord telling
the world of its wonder
and cause me to fall further in love.
With you, with him, with life.
With God.