Saturday, January 31, 2009

Nanny Diaries

I arrive at my nannying destination. 7-year-old boy is in trouble and in his room. He's crying. 2-yr-old boy is NOT in trouble, and 7-year-old thinks 2-year-old should get the same punishment as he does, even though 2-yr-old didn't do anything wrong.

7-yr-old emerges from his room for dinner. 2-yr-old is already in high chair, and through the following discourse is only half paying attention, very happy about eating his food. Dad is sitting down at the table. Mom is putting food is front of them all. I'm...trying to make myself useful.

7-YR-OLD: (whining) Why did you give me a baby bowl?? I don't WANT a baby bowl!

DAD: It's fine. Eat what's been given you.

7-YR-OLD: But I don't WANT this baby bowl!! I'm not eating this!! Put it in another bowl!

DAD: The bowl's fine. You don't need another one.

7-YR-OLD: YES I DO! I'm not eating this until you put it into another bowl!

DAD: There's no reason to dirty another bowl.

7-YR-OLD: I NEED another bowl!

DAD: That's enough! To your room. Now. Don't come out until you can speak nicely.

7-YR-OLD: (glares at Dad)

DAD: Now. To your room.

7-YR-OLD: (still glaring)

DAD: NOW. One...

2-YR-OLD: Two! Three!

7-YR-OLD: (to 2-Yr-Old) You are SO mean! You STAY OUT OF THIS! You have NOTHING to do with this!

7-yr-old stomps out of the kitchen, into his room, crying dramatically. He cries and yells to himself in his room, or maybe to his stuffed animals? Dinner is finished. Dad and Mom and 2-yr-old go to the opposite side of the apartment. I'm still in the kitchen. I hear from the 7-yr-old's room: (He's still crying and wailing to himself.)

7-YR-OLD: These are the LAST WORDS BEFORE I DIE! THE LAST WORDS BEFORE I DIE!

6 comments:

Bill Hensley said...

Careful now. You're getting the full picture on parenting. Keep going like this and you might not want any of your own. :-)

FancyPants said...

Oh I thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. When that little two year old counted to three both his mom and I had to turn away so the boys couldn't see us smiling. And I've never experienced a 7 year old as dramatic as this child. Are they all this dramatic?

Anonymous said...

I got a few laughs outta this one:)

Narci D said...

This made me laugh, because this how far apart our boys are. I can see Jackson getting all upset about using a "baby bowl", but he is more likely to pout or get teary-eyed. I hope this isn't what 7 looks like!

Fork said...

And this is why children should NOT be allowed to watch the Talky Box.

Douglas said...

Seven! That's a pretty amazing fit for a seven year old. My almost six son would have had to quietly stand in the corner or get the belt/wooden spoon if he had started acting out like that. Needless to say, he doesn't do that. Even my three year old daughter knows she can't get away with that.

Do you think I'm squelching my kids' creativity and potential acting career by being such a hardass? :-)

MB