Thursday, November 15, 2007
Caution: Proactive Provides Damaging Solutions
This is the stuff I use to wash my face. As you can very well see, Jessica Simpson uses it, too. At least she says she does. At least she makes bazookoos of money saying she does. But, I'm wondering...does it bleach Jessica's eyebrows, too?
A curious phenomenom is occurring on my face. The very top of my eyebrows (usually brown, naturally to match my hair) are turning bleach blond. But it's just the top of my eyebrows. So right now my eyebrows are somewhat two-toned.
I first noticed this about two months ago when talking to Seth. As he pretended to listen to me ramble on about whatever, his focus kept shifting from my eyes to my eyebrows. I finally stopped to ask.
"What are you looking at?"
Seth furrowed his own brow, ultimately perplexed. "Your eyebrows are changing colors."
"My eyebrows are changing colors?"
He studied my eyebrows intensely. "Yeah, just the top."
"What?" I reached for the mirror in my bag. "Oh, weird. Yeah, they're changing colors. Maybe's its the way the sun hits them in New York when I have my sunglasses on." (Hey, it was the best I could come up with.)
I resumed telling my story, but not without intermittent pauses as I waited while Seth sat distracted by my eyebrows.
Then, as I talked to my mom on a recent visit to Oklahoma, she stopped me mid-sentence and moved closer to examine my face.
"Amber, did you know your eyebrows are changing colors?" she asked, quite concerned. Then she laughed.
"OK. This is ridiculous. Yes, I know my eyebrows are changing colors. Is it that bad?"
Later my mom called. She had an idea. What if my facewash that I've been using for the past...oh...6 years or so has been accidentally getting into my eyebrows all this time, and now the effects are showing. And sure enough, as I washed my face that night, I saw that my facewash has been dripping into the top of my eyebrows...for 6 years!
So I'm wondering if Jessica has this problem, too, and what she's doing to remedy it. I don't want to change my facewash. I like it. It works. But I can't go walking around with two-toned eyebrows. Jessica, you're the only one who can help. Save me. What do I do?