Cast of Characters:
DAD - a logical, extremely smart yet quirky character, governed by reason and funny without trying to be.
MOM - sweet and innocent, yet wise and discerning. Loves to laugh. Likes to be silly. Particularly likes to laugh with me and Brother at Dad.
BROTHER - deep thinker, does randomly weird things on purpose. Likes to laugh. Likes to observe. Particularly likes to laugh with me and Mom at Dad.
BROTHER'S WIFE - deep thinker and seemingly quiet, but not really. Can eat a horse and never gain a pound.
SETH - my husband, creative and funny. Incredibly discerning. Sharp eyes and sharp wit.
ME - doesn't care to write descriptions of herself.
A conversation with my family at dinner. The family sits at a round table for 6 in the front corner of the restaurant.
ME: (to Brother's Wife) How can you eat all that and stay so thin?
BROTHER'S WIFE: I don't know! I'm sure it'll catch up with me someday.
DAD: (full from a great meal, leans back in his chair, looks at Mom and pats his belly. In a high falsetto, says) Hoo!
MOM: (Laughs and imitates him) Hoo! Ha ha! (looks at me sitting on her other side) Did you hear Dad? He just went "Hoo!" Charles, you sounded like Al Capone in that movie! (She laughs) You know that movie where he's driving that car and he's blind.
DAD: (perplexed) No.
ME: Al Capone? Mom, not Al Capone, it's Al.... (turns to Seth on her other side) Seth, Mom just said Al Capone played in that movie where's he's blind. But it's not Al Capone! It's Al....Al...what is it?
SETH: (dryly) Al Pacino
ME: Al Pacino! (turns to Mom) Al Pacino, Mom! Not Al Capone! (I laugh)
MOM: Al Pacino! Oh! (She laughs) What's that movie again, where he goes "Hoo!"?
ME: No, not "Hoo!" It's "Hoo-yah!"
MOM: Oh yeah. "Hoo-yah!" "Hoo-yah!"
MOM: What's the movie?
SETH: (shakes his head) It's "Hoo-AH"
ME: Oh! Oops. "Hoo-AH"
SETH: (again, dryly) Scent of a Woman. (turns to Brother and Brother's wife on his other side) Amber does that stuff all the time. Just the other day she was trying to call something "rinky dink" and she called it "dinky rinky." Ya know, a mix between "rinky dink" and "winky dinky."
DAD: (to Mom) I know, Betty. When you said Al Capone I couldn't figure out what you were talking about. I thought, what did you just watch, The Fugitives?
SETH: (Looks at Dad, eyes squint, slight smile, slightly shakes his head) The Untouchables.
DAD: Oh, that's right, The Untouchables.
(All laugh, except Dad.)
ME: (laughing, to Seth) See where I get it?
(All at the table laugh harder...except Dad. He calmly watches every one laugh.)
SETH: (to Brother and Brother's Wife) Yeah. Like, a while back, we're at the airport in...where were we, Amber?
ME: I don't know. I don't remember. Atlanta or something.
SETH: We were flying Southwest into the airport and she says, "Yeah, I think this airport is a major hubbub." instead of "hub." She was trying to say it was a major Southwest Airlines hub.
(All at the table laugh...except Dad, who is a frequent Southwest Rapid Reward flyer, turns his head sharply to look at me and says, completely serious)
DAD: Atlanta? No, no.