Saturday, March 15, 2008


Cast of Characters:

DAD - a logical, extremely smart yet quirky character, governed by reason and funny without trying to be.

MOM - sweet and innocent, yet wise and discerning. Loves to laugh. Likes to be silly. Particularly likes to laugh with me and Brother at Dad.

BROTHER - deep thinker, does randomly weird things on purpose. Likes to laugh. Likes to observe. Particularly likes to laugh with me and Mom at Dad.

BROTHER'S WIFE - deep thinker and seemingly quiet, but not really. Can eat a horse and never gain a pound.

SETH - my husband, creative and funny. Incredibly discerning. Sharp eyes and sharp wit.

ME - doesn't care to write descriptions of herself.

A conversation with my family at dinner. The family sits at a round table for 6 in the front corner of the restaurant.

ME: (to Brother's Wife) How can you eat all that and stay so thin?

BROTHER'S WIFE: I don't know! I'm sure it'll catch up with me someday.

DAD: (full from a great meal, leans back in his chair, looks at Mom and pats his belly. In a high falsetto, says) Hoo!

MOM: (Laughs and imitates him) Hoo! Ha ha! (looks at me sitting on her other side) Did you hear Dad? He just went "Hoo!" Charles, you sounded like Al Capone in that movie! (She laughs) You know that movie where he's driving that car and he's blind.

DAD: (perplexed) No.

ME: Al Capone? Mom, not Al Capone, it's Al.... (turns to Seth on her other side) Seth, Mom just said Al Capone played in that movie where's he's blind. But it's not Al Capone! It's Al....Al...what is it?

SETH: (dryly) Al Pacino

ME: Al Pacino! (turns to Mom) Al Pacino, Mom! Not Al Capone! (I laugh)

MOM: Al Pacino! Oh! (She laughs) What's that movie again, where he goes "Hoo!"?

ME: No, not "Hoo!" It's "Hoo-yah!"

MOM: Oh yeah. "Hoo-yah!" "Hoo-yah!"

ME: "Hoo-yah!"

MOM: What's the movie?

SETH: (shakes his head) It's "Hoo-AH"

ME: Oh! Oops. "Hoo-AH"

MOM: "Hoo-AH"

SETH: (again, dryly) Scent of a Woman. (turns to Brother and Brother's wife on his other side) Amber does that stuff all the time. Just the other day she was trying to call something "rinky dink" and she called it "dinky rinky." Ya know, a mix between "rinky dink" and "winky dinky."

(All laugh)

DAD: (to Mom) I know, Betty. When you said Al Capone I couldn't figure out what you were talking about. I thought, what did you just watch, The Fugitives?

(All confused)

SETH: (Looks at Dad, eyes squint, slight smile, slightly shakes his head) The Untouchables.

DAD: Oh, that's right, The Untouchables.

(All laugh, except Dad.)

ME: (laughing, to Seth) See where I get it?

(All at the table laugh harder...except Dad. He calmly watches every one laugh.)

SETH: (to Brother and Brother's Wife) Yeah. Like, a while back, we're at the airport in...where were we, Amber?

ME: I don't know. I don't remember. Atlanta or something.

SETH: We were flying Southwest into the airport and she says, "Yeah, I think this airport is a major hubbub." instead of "hub." She was trying to say it was a major Southwest Airlines hub.

(All at the table laugh...except Dad, who is a frequent Southwest Rapid Reward flyer, turns his head sharply to look at me and says, completely serious)

DAD: Atlanta? No, no.


tiny dancer said...

Yes!!! I've been waiting for this blog since Thursday! Haha... very good and accurate retelling of the story! :) Miss you guys and your city 'o fun!

This Southern Belle said...

Oh, this made me laugh so hard. Your family sounds like so much fun! The fugitves, hah! By the way, I always thought it was Hoo-yah also. :)

Bill Hensley said...

Hey, don't laugh too hard at Dad! I bet he was picking up the check. :) My kids laugh at me, too, BTW.

I tell ya, I can't get no respect!!

FancyPants said...

Tiny Dancer, miss you, too! Come back soon.

TSB, we were all practically crying at the dinner table, we were laughing so hard. Except Dad, of course.

Bill, you're absolutely right. =-) But you know what I think? I think he likes it that we laugh at him. He's just so funny. He's gotta be the funniest man around who doesn't mean to be funny!

BJE1206 said...

It's nice to have someone in the family to set us all straight, Seth!!

By the way, for those of you who don't understand Dad's last comment, Southwest does not fly into Atlanta!!!

FancyPants said...

Hi Mom! It's a good thing Dad set us straight on that one, huh? =-) We love you, Dad.

Kelly said...

Dear Fancy, great writes! Take care!!

truevyne said...

I think I've told you this before, but my husband says I have my very own language. He calls it Pamese.
I so totally get you. This last week , I noticed my mother also has the same issue, but I can't remember the words she messed up.
And my best friend's mom used to serve us, "Knockos (nachos) or Metropolitan icecream. Everwhat you want."

cool mum said...

I could not believe this post...just exactly like my family! My mom, dad, and husband are just like yours! Awesome how you captured this!

FancyPants said...

TrueV, it's gotta be hereditary.

Cool Mum, really!!?? That's awesome. Does your dad like putting up shelves, too? (Ref. earlier post with lots of pictures.) Does your husband desperately avoid it?

cool mum said...

i'm not sure about shelves, but my dad did single-handedly install all the brackets for the window coverings in every single window of a new house we moved into. meanwhile, my husband just happened to be out of town for this occasion.

and when i told my mom your story, she didn't even flinch at the al capone part, just said 'oh yeah, that's right' when i got to the al pacino part. perfect.

there's gotta be some kind of vitamin my mom and i can take to stop the word confusion...i'm getting worse and worse!

FancyPants said...

Cool Mum, when you find that vitamin, let me know. =-)

Super Churchlady said...

Enjoying reading all these posts that were written while I was gone.

This is so funny. dad - Major (you know the one you called Colonel?? - ha, ha...) he's afflicted with the same mixin' up words disease.