Monday, July 16, 2007

Tales of a Big Sis

Like I said, it's great being a 16 year old, with all the games and giggles and family fun. There's another perk I haven't experienced in a long, long time...until today.

Theater etiquette demands that while waiting in the wings for an entrance onto the stage, the actor is silent, or at least as quiet as humanly possible. For multiple reasons, the obvious one - so people in the audience can't hear you. But another reason, so that you focus on what's happening on stage so as to not miss your cue.

So tonight at rehearsal, my brothers, sisters, and I have just exited stage right and are waiting for our next cue. Rather, I'M waiting for our next cue. Which is for sure the most stressful cue of the whole show and entirely up to me. I have to, with a pitch pipe, give our pitches to begin "The Sound of Music" in 3-part harmony, acapella, from off stage, at exactly the right time during the ongoing dialogue on stage. And then we walk on singing. Uh, that's really hard. For multiple reasons.

1) Children can't always hear 3-part harmony when there is no accompinament.

2) I don't have a pitch pipe yet, so I'm guessing.

3) These children haven't learned yet how to BE silent off stage in the wings, and they are dramatically hyper.

4) Most children haven't a clue as to how to WHISPER.

So here's how it went down today:

We exit after Captain Van Trapp orders us to STOP PLAYING AND CHANGE OUR CLOTHES. (I will hereby refer to the children by their Van Trapp names...)

Brigitta and Marta (off stage): Ah HA HA HA! Ah HA HA HA HA! Did you see when....? hee hee hee (squeal) I know! HA HA HA!

Kurt (off stage to Friedrich): Would you PLEASE keep your head down when we're leap frogging! I can't jump over your big ole' head!

Friedrich: I'm sorry, Geez.

Gretl (hits Friedrich): I don't LIKE YOU very much!

Friedrich: Stop HITTING ME!

Me: Guys, please stop talking. This is important. I need to hear my cue.

Brigitta and Marta: Hee hee hee! (squeal) Hee hee hee!

Me: Seriously guys, you really should NOT be talking right now!

Brigitta: (stops, looks at me, then at Marta); hee hee hee hee! HA HA HA!

Me: OK, here we go. Pitches....

Friedrich: No! That's too low!

Me: Shhhh! Friedrich, just do it!

Brigitta: (sings an entirely wrong pitch)

Me: No! Guys listen. I just gave you your pitches.

Everyone: What? No! hee hee hee! Hmmm Hmmm Hmmm, is that right? No, it's too low!

Director: (from audience): THAT WAS IT! LIESL!!!! THAT WAS YOUR CUE! HELLO? GUYS!

So. What did I do? You bet I did.

I told on them all.

If you're not gonna listen to me, you're gonna be in trouble. That's how it goes. I marched myself right out on that stage and said, "Excuse me. Would someone please come back here and remind us that we can't talk off stage. Because everyone's talking and NOBODY's listening for the cue or to my pitches. NOBODY. I tried giving them 3 times. But NOBODY was listening."

That pretty much did the trick. They were scared of me for the rest of rehearsal. It was awesome. Tattletaling kicks major A.


truevyne said...

You now hold the keys to the kingdom of children, young apprentice.

Matt and Shelley said...

HAHAHAH! That's a great story! I love a good snitch. I told my students that I will ALWAYS tell on them when they cheat, and do you know what they said to me???

"Snitches get stitches!!!!"

Way to go, Fancy!!

Chaotic Hammer said...

Cute story. Tattle-tale!

Though it has very little to do with your post, I found the following link very fascinating:

The Real Story of the von Trapp Family

FancyPants said...

Truevyne, I've actually been a tattletaler from the start. My little brother used to get so mad at me, but I usually got my way when I tattled, so. It's a fail-safe way to fight as an older sister. Little brothers have a million ways to pick on older sisters, so we have to have a way to fight back.

Shelley, I like your students.

C-ham'n'eggs, very cool link. Thanks!