I should preface my post today with a few insignificant facts that prove to you that I am a smart person. Forgive me if it comes across as boasting. This is unintended. It's merely what you should know before I begin to reveal my idiosyncrasies and uber-quirkiness. So...
#1) I graduated at a relatively high rank in my high school class of 1,392. (OK, I was 12 out of 1392.)
#2) I graduated from Baylor University summa cum laude with a GPA of 3.96
#3) I like to read. I like to write. I like arithmatic.
I credit most of my grades to being a hard worker, diligent, thorough. Basically a nerd. I also have good genes. Both the parents are smart, so my brother and I turned out A-O-K.
But I also inherited something else from my parents. Well, just my mom, really. And that is the incredible talent of mistakenly combining two well-known idioms or phrases and by doing so completely getting it wrong. Or mixing up the words and letters so that what comes out of my mouth sounds like wacky jibber jabber. It's the very reason why I feel sorry for President Bush when David Letterman does his "Great Moments in Speeches" segment of his show.
Sometimes, dare I say usually, I don't realize what I've done until I notice the look on Seth's face. He looks off into the distance with a slight squint in his eyes and confounded look on his face, while his mouth is always slightly curved upward into a half smile, his lips silently repeating my slew of words or mixed up phrase. While I continue with what I deem worthy conversation, he suddenly blurts out what I meant to say, immediately followed by a burst of laughter, me realizing that yeah, that is what I meant to say, the conversation totally lost, me joining the laughing spell, all the while thinking, wow I really need to remember that one.
Seth says they're like riddles that he gets to figure out, some easier than others. So, I thought I'd let you try to figure some of them out. Here we go...
What did I mean to say when I said:
#1) "I don't know where the pen went. Did you check in all the crook and nannies?"
#2) "I can't believe how crowded that airport was. It was a real hubbub."
#3) "He was kidding the whole time, completely pulling my arm."
#4) "He was totally kidding, completely yanking my leg."
#5) "He was kidding the whole time, completely twisting my leg." (#3-5 are the death of me. I can never get them right. And anyways, only one really means to kid around but for some reason I just think you can mix and match.)
#6) "The town was a real honkey donk tank" (You'll never get this one. I can't believe I'm sharing this. I was even confounded as the phrase came out of my mouth.)
#7) (This one occurred today at the breakfast table, and I apologize if you are from Arkansas.) "We played in Arkansas during our tour, and man, driving through that place, it was just totally backsticks."
So there you go. Me in worst form. Good luck.