As I'm getting ready to leave this morning (I'm in Oklahoma for a cousin's wedding), I say to Seth:
Me: Well hun, I'm glad you'll have the weekend for your dissertation. You can really, ya know, bite the bullet.
Seth: Awww, that doesn't sound good.
Me: What?
Seth: Bite the bullet means like, to die.
Me: It DOES?!?! No way! I thought it meant to like, ya know, suffer through it. Get it done.
Seth: No, I think it means to die.
Oh SE-eth. I have a little something to SHOWWW YOUUUU!
Please click here. Hurry! Now! Everyone! Click!
Change of subject. Before I go on, I must insert here: I don't know a lot about designer stuff. Really, I don't. I don't go out and try to buy the best brand names, because I've never cared, and anytime anyone's said to me, Oh my gosh, this handbag I saw was amazing. It was (insert designer brand name here), I think: I have no idea what that means.
Now, along with hand-me-down clothes, I recently got a hand-me-down handbag. Designer. Louis Vuitton.
More on this later. But I had to preface for this next section here.
OK, so after I laugh about the phrase I THOUGHT I'd botched and ask Seth to please not tell anyone, it's time to go. I pick up my sheek Louis Vuitton designer handbag, realizing fully the unprecedented moment, and with renewed vigor SAY:
Me: WELL! Me and Vidal are outa here.
Seth let me get all the way to the door before correcting me.
Oh, and Seth? I think you meant: Bite the dust.
HA! Take THAT oh power in the universe that jumbles up all my phrases of good intent! haHA!! One point: FancyPants.
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6 comments:
Hey, I was just minutes out of bed... pthhhhh!
I don't normally know anything about designer names and stuff either, but I've actually heard of Louis Vuitton. Nanx brought a bag home that she got for a few bucks at the Goodwill and was thrilled that it was a Louis Vuitton bag. But she figured it was probably a fake, since it would have been worth several hundred dollars if it were real.
So one weekend I drove her down to the rich-people's mall, where we almost never go, and she went to the Louis Vuitton store to ask them to look at it and see if it was real or fake.
Turns out it was a fake, but even the guy at the store agreed it was one of the better fakes he'd seen. I guess there was a wrong serial number on the inside that was a dead giveaway, and something subtle but wrong about the logo on the label.
Nanx has been trying hard to get me to understand the difference between designer stuff and regular cheap stuff. But I'm very much a function-over-form pragmatist, and don't get that there is so much disparity in the value of two nearly-identical bags, just because one is "designer" and one's a fake.
Yeah, if it had come from anyone else, we'd think it was fake too... however, it came from a prominent FOX news anchor from up here who - from what we are told - never buys anything fake and shops... a lot at expensive stores. Can't go into how much she'll drop in a day, but you can imagine. I went to the fake site-spotting sites to check the authenticity just for the heck of it, and I think it checks out. We thought about selling it on Ebay but decided it would be a pain in the butt.
Seth, I'm sorry. It just had to be said.
C-Ham, see the thing about designer bags is (and I can say this because I've used one for four days now), is that they function WAY BETTER! Seriously. I'm not making that up. They're expensive for a reason. I don't blame anyone for wanting one! Aaaaand, they do look pretty rad, I have to say.
I love your word confusion. It makes me laugh.
BTW the "Colonel" says hello.
OH don't remind me. =-)
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