Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Confession: Walk Rage

As of today, I am a true New Yorker.

A while back I wrote about the different ways of crossing the street in New York City.
Today, I followed #7 in the rule book: Walk Rage.

As I crossed the street WITH THE RIGHT-OF-WAY (oh yes, I had the white walking man), a big white van took a right turn, right into me. Now when this happens, because believe it or not, it happens a lot, what ensues resembles a game of "Chicken." Who will give first? The walker has the right-of-way, but the driver , because he's turning right on a green light, doesn't want to wait on the walker, and consequently "fakes" driving right into the walker, attempting to scare the walker into stopping and letting the car pass, EVEN THOUGH THE WALKER HAS THE RIGHT-OF-WAY.

Now, see, when a driver does this to ME, I ALWAYS win. Because I take #7 in my cross walk rule book seriously. If I have the right-of-way, then I have the right-of-way. That's all there is to it, and they can wait. You might be thinking, hmmm...that's a bit severe considering she could get run over. But the thing is, if you keep walking, the driver has no choice but to stop, because surely they won't run you over.

Today, the white van almost ran me over. We played our little game of Chicken, and he didn't stop, and NOT ONLY did he not stop, he and his Hispanic friend in the passenger seat laughed at me and waved. This I clearly saw, since their windshield was a foot away from my face.

I stopped. I raised my hands in the air. I...(oh c'mon now, don't judge me)...cursed. And as I lowered my hands and the white van passed me, just inches away from my toes, a series of thoughts went through my head in a split second.

That *&#$^ almost killed me.

I had the right-of-way.

How dare they laugh.


instead of bringing my right arm down to my side as I did my left, my right arm suddenly acquired a will of its own. And....

I hit that van.

Really hard, with my right hand.

Right on its fat white side.

And man, did that feel good.


cool dad said...

i've found myself staring cars down, wondering if they see me walking. fortunately, they pretty much all have.

The Cachinnator said...

Been there. I feel ya.

Mike said...

I totally feel you, I did that once while on my bike. I hit the hood because they were merging into MY bike lane. What I didn't realize, as my hand was slapping the new car, that I had a ring on. The car ended up next to me at the light, I assumed they understood there punishment due to the lack of eye contact.

SandinaJ said...

You're such a fire ball! I love this story because I can totally picture you hitting the hood.

But, I so thought you were going to say, "instead of bringing my right arm down to my side as I did my left, my right arm suddenly acquired a will of it's own and I flipped him off!"

I like hitting the van better. Much more aggressive for you. Way to keep up that tough girl image!

This Southern Belle said...

Ha! Fancypants is also a sassypants! ;) I thought you were going to flip them off as well. Loved the twist!

Fork said...

I look at drivers and mouth the words, "HIT ME! COME ON! JUST HIT ME!"

I'm not proud of it.

Super Churchlady said...

You ROCK! It's official. You're a New Yorker.

Nina said...

How funny! I would have hit it also and felt so good about it. I will say you are pretty brave playing chicken with cars.

FancyPants said...

CD, yeah the stare is a good alternative to hitting the car, or even cursing. Unless they laugh at you. That's when you hit the car.

Cach, isn't it enraging?

Mike, bike as in a bicycle or bike as in motorcycle? I would be very scared to be a biker (either one) on a busy street.

Sandina and TSB, I think flipping them off might have run through my mind in that split second...but hitting them just seemed so much more...right.

Fork, me too! it bad to say that I'm kinda proud of it?

SuperC, why thank you.

Nina, brave but probably not so smart, huh?

Funny Girl said...

When I'm in NY I try to walk like a New Yorker. (Don't know how successful I am, but I try.) Drives my girlfriends crazy.

I LOVE that you hit the van. That makes my day.

Joanna Martens said...

I find myself succumbing to an LA driver: I'm about to turn, on a green light, I'm slower than usual, sure- but the new 2008 jeep behind me can't handle it. Probably some dude, cocky 28 year old who is on his way to the gym- I get a huge lay-on-the-horn wail while I... without hesitation... return the honk vibrato and throwing my hands up in the air "hey!! calm down!!" and he speeds up and passes me. Totally not a Spirit controlled moment there. haha.

The Aimful Wanderer said...

That is an awesome New York story.

FancyPants said...

Funny Girl, how does one walk like a New Yorker?

Joanna, he needs to calm it down if you ask me.

Aimful, it's my proof of graduation. I think I'll frame it and hang it on my wall.