Monday, February 9, 2009

For Husbands: 10 Ways You Know Your Wife is PMS-ing.

1. She cries not only at movies like Steel Magnolias and Beaches, but also at random scenes from Desperate Housewives.

2. She stares off in the distance mopingly for no good reason at all. Actually altogether she has a distant look in her eye. Like she's there but not really there -you can't be sure.

3. She wants to cuddle, then seconds later wants nothing to do with you.

4. You think it's safe to joke about her quirks, but when you do, she either cries or yells at you or slams a door or some combination of all three.

5. She keeps asking you, possibly for three to five days in a row, if she's gained weight, even though just the day before you told her no and that she looked hot. You do tell her that she looks hot, I'm sure....RIGHT?

6. She's slacking on chores and household responsibilities. Doesn't want to cook or clean or run errands or much of anything.

7. But she does want chocolate. A lot of it.

8. If she's normally a pretty organized person, you notice her forgetting things when she leaves the house, like maybe even her PURSE! GASP. You'll notice her leaving and coming back inside several times before actually departing the premises.

9. She's irritated at the world when she's not irritated with you, and irritated with you when she's not irritated with the world. Choose your words carefully and be extra sweet, and if....IF....you must remind her that she's PMSing...don't use it as ammunition. She can't help it. Don't discard her feelings because of it. Her feelings are important. And by all means, don't ASK her in the middle of an argument if she is. It won't get you anywhere. Just ask her LATER, when you think it's safe, and ask her sweetly, and then remember so you don't have to ask her AGAIN.

10. She's too annoyed to think of a number 10 on a list she thinks is cliche but will post anyways because she has nothing else she presently wants to write about.

16 comments:

This Southern Belle said...

Um, are you PMS-ing? ;)

SandinaJ said...

I've told my husband that it's never a good idea to ask if I'm PMS-ing. Nothing good could ever come of that. HA! He is to figure it out on his own without asking.

No worries Ms. Fancy - you are perfectly normal...and hot!

Seth Ward said...

Now see here, folks.

I NEVER use the PMS thing as ammunition. That is amateur business right there.

I think she is talking in general here...

carry on.

Kristin said...

Isn't it a joy that we get to do this EVERY month?

Kristin said...

Isn't it a joy that we get to do this EVERY month?

Chaotic Hammer said...

No comment.

FancyPants said...

Seth, maybe you should share with everyone your expertise on the matter in your next Fireside Chat.

I think C-ham's found the perfect approach.

FancyPants said...

I've heard these symptoms are perpetual for 9 months when you're preggo. Anyone wanna confirm or deny? Ladies or gentleman. I assume the different perspectives might offer somewhat different responses.

MamasBoy said...

I completely deny the charges regarding pregnancy and PMS. My wife is in the middle of her third pregnancy, and (IMHO) she has none of those "symptoms."

MB

FancyPants said...

CONGRATS!!!! That's wonderful, MB! Not just that she doesn't have the symptoms.... Congrats on your third. =-)

SandinaJ said...

I had more of these symptoms while "trying" to get pregnant because of the hormones I was taking. When I actually became pregnant, I think the majority of those symptoms went away because I was so excited to finally be pregnant. When you get pregnant, your mind and body become obsessed with the life growing inside you, there's no time for any other emotion. Although, I do remember crying a lot....but a happy/emotional cry.

Yours Truly, Mom said...

FancyPants,

You ain't seen nothin yet honey!!

Wait until the great mountain of pre-menopausal and menopuase symptoms come into your life!!

Watch out people!!!

It's certainly a mountain compared to a PMS mole hill!

YIKES!!!!

FancyPants said...

Ha! Well, hang on there, Mom. "This too shall pass.." And as Jessica Tandy says in Fried Green Tomatoes, "Well you're just goin' through the CHANGE, honey! That's all!"

FancyPants said...

San, good to know. =-)

mandy said...

Crap.
What if I always, everyday, and into the night, want chocolate!???!
My poor husband.

DeeDee said...

Isn't it the strangest thing how during this time we are driven like a motor to the chocolate? Must have the chocolate. Check all hiding places in kitchen for forgotten stash. Find old Easter chocolate. Nope, it's not quality (it has to be worth it, people). Reroute drive to 7-11 for the chocolate. Tell and share with no one. Hide the evidence. Ahh, that's good stuff right there.