To Be or Not To Be

Oh fancied friends I am not a dedicated blogger these days. I'm sorry the posts are few and far between, and sorry that I haven't been able to make it over to your blogs to read and comment. But my hope is that you're all well and happy and content.

At this very moment I'm on a train to Northport for another long tech rehearsal. We're behind but all in all I'm very excited about how the show is coming together. Right now my cast mates are probably wondering where I am because I forwent the gathering ritual of meeting before the track is announced. I'm a little grumpy this morning and thought I'd spare them all my sullen face. By the time we get there I should be less sleepy and less irritable - irritable because I lost my scarf in the train station. One minute it was hanging loosely from my neck (I had just undone it because I was burning up hot from the cramped subway ride), the next minute gone. Did it fall? Did someone slyly pull it from my neck when I was indecisively trying to figure out which bottled water to buy? Of all things, my pashmina! It was pink. And pretty. My pretty, pink pashmina is now gone forever. And I didn't even buy it. It was a hand-me-down. Actually I was kind of borrowing it. There. Truth be told. It wasn't even mine. Dadgummit.

I looked all around on the floor where I had been. Missing pashmina nowhere to be found. Someone is walking the streets of New York this very minute with my pretty pink pashmina. Well not really mine.... Dangit.

There's this one part in my big duet I sing with Jo, where I am going to (gasp) change the melody! Actually it's just one note but I thoroughly hate this one note, and sparing you the boring details, I'm just telling you. I'm going to change it! I've figured it all out, and I think my way is much better on all accounts. I'm trying to decide if I actually need to inform my musical director. One thing I do know is that musical theater people don't like changing notes. As a folk-slash-pop-slash-kindofrock-slash-Christian recording artist you can change notes all day long and it's ok! But these musical theater folk....oh no. I might scare the scarf off my musical director (he typically wears one) and bring the whole darn number to a svreaching halt.

"Woah woah woah. (nervous chuckle). Uh.... Fancypants.... You sag a B instead of a D there. (nervous chuckle... Wraps scarf back around his neck).

To which I could have numerous responses.

Number 1: Yeah. I know. Who wrote this song? They kind of suck. I'm not singing the D there.

Number 2: OH!!! Oops. That just kinda happened. But I sort of one it better. What do you think?

Number 3: I am so sorry. My mistake, won't happen again. (or will it, she says to herself)

Hmmmmm. Or I could just work it I win my musical director before hand so as not to risk another scarf being lost, but risking my idea being shut down.

Diva or not to be diva? THAT is the question. What should it be, folks?

Day Off

It's my day off today. Rehearsals are going very well. We added in the children's cast this weekend. They are all EXTREMELY talented and well-behaved. I feel very good about this cast on all accounts. Not only are the actors talented, they are inventive, imaginative, and a joy to be with. But honestly, I find that so many actors are a joy to be with. I've not been a part of one single cast that bums me out. There's always the person that you'll never really get along with, but...that's just life.

I always find myself enjoying the rehearsal process before a show opens, sometimes more than the run of the show itself. It's such an exciting time: Finding your character, discovering relationships between characters, and playing with all sorts of ideas. Freedom within boundaries. Your script provides the boundaries, but the freedom lies between the lines, and in making the black and white on paper become color and movement and meaning. By opening night, hopefully, you've solidified enough to be consistent, and then the challenge becomes finding new moments within repetition. But rehearsal is safe. There's no press, no audience, no standard. A clean slate. Who doesn't love a clean slate?

I have a voice lesson today and honestly, I really don't want to go. Voice lessons. Blah. I'll be spending an hour ooohing and ahhhing and eeeehing up and down the octave. See this must be why so many singers run into trouble acting. (None of my fancied friends here, of course.) Too many rules to singing, too much to think about. My voice teacher keeps telling me not to think, but for the life of me I can't figure out how NOT to think. Any suggestions on how not to think?

It was a 6 AM day today. Right now it's 7:22 AM, and I'm almost out the door. I have to sign up for an audition downtown and then zip further downtown for a voice lesson at 9 AM, then back to the audition. Let's hope I get seen. Maybe if we all hope hard enough. I really want to sing this particular song today.

Who has a voice lesson at 9 AM?

Apparently I do, and I'm insane.

Have a great day, folks.

**********************************************

Update: 2:30 PM:

Well you all must've hoped real hard, cuz I got seen right around noon, and it went very well. Hooray for good auditions. Woo hoo!

Let it Be Known....

that I woke up at 6 AM every day this week. That's right 6 AM!!! I got seen four times this week. Four times is good.

I forget how different these auditions are than anything else I've experienced in the music business. Not just because you sing for 1 minute and that's the end of it, but mostly because of the possibility of such negative energy in the room that could eradicate the smile off the face of Richard Simmons. It's always nice to get a cheery "Hi" when I walk into the room. A glance up from the papers on the table is good. A double-take, even better. The best is complete, unbroken attention from the man or woman behind the table. A smile goes a long way. Smiles are good. I like casting directors that smile. They're few and far between.

But that may not be so bad, really. If every casting director smiled at every auditionee that walked into the room, there'd be a whole lot of girls in stiletto heels and bouncy hair that get their feelings hurt when they don't get a phone call.

I find myself sitting AWAY from those girls in stiletto heels and bouncy hair. Not that there's anything wrong with stiletto heels. I like the heels. Just not the conversation. I really don't. I don't want to know the girl's resume and how she knows this director and thinks so and so on Broadway has the worst voice ever and if that girl can get on Broadway, surely she could. I don't want to talk about what song I'm singing or what song she's singing or how she heard the principals were already cast. How she thinks they're not really looking for anyone, they just have to hold the call. I don't want to waste my energy mustering up fake interest, raising my eyebrows, nodding my head, pretending like I care while she throws her weight around.

So now I just sit as far away as I can and read.

But today I didn't get up at 6 AM. Today I went to my friend's surprise 30th birthday party, after I watched Federer beat Djokovic, and Nadal and Murray's match get postponed because of the rain. It was weird that the rain postponing the match on T.V. was the same rain that made puddles on my deck. That was pretty cool.

Tomorrow I'm making my vision board.

Honky Tonk Angels

Last but not least...

Honky Tonk Angels is the story of three women, strangers at the time, who leave home to pursue their dreams in Nashville, TN. Fate has it they meet on the bus along the way, and the three women, quickly becoming the best of friends, form a singing group: The Honky Tonk Angels. The show is a country music review, loaded with classics, primarily those of three country stars, Tammy Wynette, Dolly Parton, and Loretta Lynn, who once released an album together, "Honky Tonk Angels," in 1993. Instead of making it a review only, the playwrite highlights the music using the stories of three fictional characters: Darlene Purvis, Angela Bodine, and Sue Ellen Smith Barney Fife.

To be honest, I was looking forward to this show the least because I didn't like the script. But once I heard the music, signature classic country music (and I'm not much of a country music fan), and once we got the show on its feet, it quickly became the highlight of my summer. It became my happy place. Maybe it was the familiarity of it. The three of us arrived first for rehearsal and became really close. With only three in the cast, the content and responsibility belonging to each one of us was weighty. A lot of pressure. A lot of work. We pulled together, helped each other out, and through the demands and trials of the show, I think developed a special bond.

Or maybe it's because it's such a fun show. Hilarious, really. And with a rockin' band led by my stud husband, performing those songs each night was a treat.

I don't have performance pics of this one, but here's a few backstage. (I'm Darlene.) And I'm still trying to get my hands on a few clips...

From left to right, Sue Ellen, Darlene, and Angela

Ladies and gentlemen! The Honky Tonk....ANGELS!!!" (Lord help that hair.)

And the real Honky Tonk girls.

Back from the Dead

It's like I was frozen in ice or something. I get back from Kentucky and find the Olympics more than half over, John Edwards cheated on his cancered wife, Ellen DeGeneres married Portia, and Bernie Mac is dead. Bernie Mac? Not to mention all the other national and international news of which I should be aware.

And I now stare directly into the fact that I learn more from People Magazine than the New York Times. But I mean, come on. We're still at war. It's still Obama and McCain. And "going green" is still the solution to global warming. So...I didn't really miss much there. Oh, and gas prices still suck.

We had no internet for most of the summer, except through Seth's iPhone, which consequently convinced me...I want one. Not just for the iPhone. For the iSolitaire.

What we did have was 42 days straight with no day off. 12 - 15 hour days. Spiders in our bed. Three different housing situations, one which involved a tub filled with backed up poop water. And a broken back. Actually it was a bone sheer and it belonged to me. Bone sheers hurt, but osteopaths are miracle men, especially the one who treated me for free. I was out only one show, and half another, which wasn't so bad, considering how bad it could have been. There was no big accident, no mishap, nothing from which I could gain any extra cash. My back started hurting and got worse and worse until I was walking like my father. One day I took 8 Aleve in a 12 hour period and it still felt like 4 knives were being jabbed into strategic parts of my tailbone.

It wasn't all bad.

I rehearsed and performed three different shows in 12 weeks, made a lot of new friends, learned a lot about myself, played three different Five Cent Stand mini-concerts at three different churches, gave away lots of Bitter Kiss CD's, watched four seasons of "House" with our pal, Joey, sang to my heart's content, discovered Wendy's twisted Frosties, learned to like roast beef, worked as a professional actor, and did it all with my husband right beside me. Can't beat that.

So of course whether you like it or not, you'll get pictures. Lots of pictures. And who knows, maybe a video clip, if I can get my hands on one. I'm glad to be done. I'm sad to be done. I can't wait to get back to New York City.

The picture parade begins:

Wizard of Oz (Dorothy):

"Why it's just like you could read what was inside of me..."

"If I only had a brain..."


"Oh look Scarecrow! It's a man...a man made out of tin! Yes."


"If I only had the heart..."


"If I only had the nerve..."


"We're off to see the Wizard..."


"Well, bust my buttons!"


Lil' Dorothies every night.


This one may have been the biggest fan of them all. She came to every show dressed like a different character each time. (I think she was a munchkin's sister)




A Chorus Line up next...

We made it!

I wish I could be more present these days. We're in 12 hour day rehearsals. Trying to get a show up in 11 days, well...5 more days now. I'm exhausted. But having a blast. Just tired.

The first show to open will be Honky Tonk Angels. I'm diggin' this old country music. I'm actually falling in love with Dolly Parton. Have you heard "Front Porch Swing"? Such a beautiful song. And 9 to 5 is crazy fun. And Paradise Road, great stuff. Dolly just has this facility of voice that's unreal. Such vocal flexibility, while keeping it so pure and beautiful and natural. Love her. I'm also loving Bobbie Gentry and Loretta Lynn.

Other songs...we do a clogging bit in Rocky Top. That's fun. And what else is there...ummm...Cleopatra...Boots are Made for Walkin...The Pill...Stand By Your Man...Honky Tonk Angels (course)...Calling All Angels...Good Girls Gonna Go Bad....Night Life...Harper Valley PTA....Coal Miner's Daughter....Ode to Billy Joe...and my personal favorite.....FANCY!!!

The cast and crew are really great here. So far, no divas. Just sweet people. And that's saying something because this first show is all girls. Except Seth and the band. Three female characters in the show, that's it. And then we have our understudies. And both the director and music director are women. Now that could get crazy, y'all. But so far so good. Seth has to be at all the rehearsals as the asst. musical director, and he plays keys for this show, so he's witnessed an (un)fair share of estrogen-slash-stress induced breakdowns this week. I'm sure there'll be more to come. I'm so glad he's here.

I've never crammed so much information into my brain at one time. I'm loving it.

Kentucky is...Kentucky. It's beautiful here, but it's a culture shock. A little depressing at first, but I think once the rehearsal schedule slows down in July and we have more time during the day, I'll get to enjoy the state park more. Hiking...the lake...sleeping in.....

Hope to post more in the coming days.

And I hope you are all well and enjoying the beginning of summer!

I'll leave you with this, because it's Dolly and I'm just now understanding why everyone loves her so much.

Summer Theater in Kentucky

Well folks, in a matter of weeks, I'm off to theater land again. Theater land nestled in the mountains of Kentucky. Yee haw.

I'll be away 11 weeks. The whole summer. Away from my charming city to live in a cabin in the hee-ills.

But don't fret, fancied friends. For two reasons. 1) Seth is going with me. The whole 11 weeks we'll be together in the hot burnin' sun, workin' our ever livin' arses off. He's the associate music director for the whole shin-dig. Now isn't that somethin'? When I auditioned for the job, they asked me to bring my guitar to the call back and play a tune or two. Absolutely, I said. But really what I meant was, absolutely, I'll have my husband bring my guitar because I ain't truckin' that thing around the city all day. And whadoyou know? Seth brought that ther' guitar with 'im to the call back and landed himsay'lf a JAWB!

2nd reason) We'll be havin' a blast! Three shows in rotating rep. That means we rehearse 1 show, perform it while rehearsing another, perform those two in rotation, while we rehearse a 3rd show, then perform all three shows in rotation for the rest of the summer season. Ai-ya-yai. Lots of work but lots of fun.

We're doing the following shows and I'll be playing the following roles.

The Wizard of Oz: Dorothy

Honky Tonk Angels: Darlene

A Chorus Line: Understudy (yikes, they haven't told me who I'm understudying, but I'm a bit nervous about it cuz they could make me swing 3 different tracks or something. I'm also worried because the dancing might kick my bleep!

I'm really, really excited about playing Dorothy, mostly because "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" is one of my favorite songs, and was played when Seth proposed (thanks to our pal Joey) and was also sung at our wedding (thanks to my lovely MOH Laura). And also because Judy Garland is one of my favorite singers. And also because it's a really fun show. And also because I get to wear the ruby slippers. Yesssss.

Honky Tonk Angels is a review of folk/country hits, told through 3 women's stories of leavin' home for Nashville, TN and following their dreams. It's growing on me, now that I've heard the music. Great music, and I get to play the gee-tar. Always fun. And sing songs like "Coal Miner's Daughter," "Ode to Billie Joe," (SUCH a cool song) and "Fancy," among loads of others. I think there's around 25 songs in the show.

And I've told you all I know about A Chorus Line so far.

The theater's called the Jenny Wiley Theater in Prestonsburg, KY. So if you haven't planned a summer vacation yet, why not Kentucky?

See schedule of shows here.

So I leave you with this, fancied friends, and hope that I can sing it half as well as she does.

American Idol: Memories

OK, as a singer and a theater lover, I have strong feelings about this performance. I'm wondering, before I smear my opinions all over the place, what you thought (or think). Both Randy and Simon didn't like it. Paula, of course, did. You all know the song. Barbara Streisand. Cats. Andrew Lloyd Webber. Whether you watched the show on Tuesday night or not, I'd love to know if you like what you hear or not, and why. Then I'll smear my opinion all over the place. While certainly respecting yours. Cool? Here it is.

The Lord's Prayer: 2 Yr Old Style

HT: Super Churchlady


Now that's worship right there.

More Pictures: The Gold Dress

How can you not love playing this role when you get to wear dresses like this?...

As you can see, I'm real happy about my dress. Cogsworth's sister-in-law made it. She's amazing. I wish I could wear dresses like that every day. My four-year-old niece dresses up like a princess every day. Why can't I?

Me and Lumiere

And when you get to take pictures with little brown-eyed girls like this...

Oh my gosh, she had the biggest, most beautiful brown eyes.

One little 4-year-old girl came up to me, kissed my cheek and said in her sweet little voice, "I love you."

One little girl stood with her daddy after the show, and when she saw me, gasped and said, "She's real!"

And then another one handed me this wilted flower. As she handed it to me, wide-eyed and speechless, her mom told me she had picked it before the show and held it the whole time so she could hand it to me afterwards.



My sweet husband and parents. I'm so thankful for the support my husband and my parents continually give. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing without the encouragement Seth has given me. I am so blessed. My parents haven't missed a show yet.

And here's some more fun ones I found:

Gaston and the Beast rehearsing the fight scene.

Silly Girls and Lefou swoon over Gaston

"My daughter...odd? Now where did you get an idea like that?"Papa and his invention

My friend and email buddy, Audrey, playing Chip! She did a FANTASTIC job. During the show she was inside a rolling cart, with only her head sticking out the top...until the end of the show, when she ran out as a...GASP....BOY!!!

OK, I think I'm finally done with picture mania.

More Beauty and the Beast Pics

All right, I'm sorry for all the pics here, but grin and bear it, because the show's over, and I'm sad. So here's some backstage shots.

Wardrobe, Belle, Babette, Lumiere, and.... a cheese grater.

Those crazy half-humans

"Oh no, no, no! I've been burnt by you before!!"

Belle and the frightful Beast

Belle and the not-so-scary-slightly-puppy-like Beast

And finally, the Julio-Prince!

More to come!!

Opening Night!

It went REALLY well, considering all the things that could have gone wrong... I absolutely love playing this role. Here are a few pics. They're actually from dress rehearsal. Will have more coming soon. (I'm sure you know, but just in case you don't...you can click on the pic to enlarge.)



OK, well, they're taking forever to load and I'm exhausted, so more coming soon.

Congrats to the cast and crew!

A Homeless Man at My Audition

At least I think he was homeless. He sure seemed like he was, but how assuming of me. Because he had lots of clothes on and strange thick glasses over beady eyes and wild thinning black hair, I think he's homeless? OK, maybe not homeless, but surely crazy. He sat on a bench inside the building and stared at people, stared at me, for extremely long periods of time, periodically roaming around the room, sitting back down, staring, smiling his vacant half-smile. He was odd. But then, most actors are odd, so I first gave him the benefit of the doubt. Guess he thought there might be a part for him in "Marcy in the Galaxy," the musical. I had no idea what "Marcy in the Galaxy" was all about, save for what the casting call described. Maybe there was a crazy beady-eyed character in "Marcy in the Galaxy."

That's what I thought until I sat behind him in the audition line. It was his time to go into the room. He had given a headshot to the monitor. That's the only way he got on the line. The person before him had gone in, had sung, and had come out. She was finished, and it was his turn. But he didn't go in. He just sat there next to me as I looked at him. He looked straight ahead with his vacant expression. No book of music. He held nothing. Finally I spoke up. "I think you can go in, sir."

"Oh. Yeah."

So he went in, with no music for the accompanist to play. He shuffled in and closed the door and I waited. We all waited. We all listened.

Ten quiet seconds passed before us. We stared at the door. We heard nothing. Ten seconds, and the door opened. Beady eyes shuffled back out of the room and wandered off. Off to where, who knows?

It was my turn. I walked into the audition room and over to a stunned accompanist and a bewildered casting director. We looked at each other wide-eyed. I tried not to laugh, but I couldn't help it. I laughed. They laughed.

"I don't know what that was all about," I said.

The casting director shook his head. "I thought I was being punked or something."

I sat my music on the piano in front of the accompanist. "Well, whatever you do," she said, "it'll be better than that."

I wouldn't mind a crazy homeless man showing up at auditions more often.

I Missed My Church Today

We meant to get up for church this morning. Wanted to make the 11 AM service at St. Thomas, an Episcopal church at 53rd and 5th Ave. We have visited there twice now, and find ourselves craving more of the liturgy and choral Mass. But we were out late last night at a friend's party where we played "Catch Phrase" and "Taboo" until way too late. So we missed the morning service and tried to make the Evensong 4 PM service. But the subways ran so behind that it took us an hour to get there, making us entirely too late. We ended up not going, and instead made the night service at Redeemer Presbyterian where they did a very weirded-out-meter jazz arrangement of "In Christ Alone" that required way too much thought toward how to sing the melody, the very reason why I think worship and jazz don't quite work together. But hey, that's just me.

As I struggled to sing a complex rhythm to a hymn whose beauty should be found in its simplicity, I missed my church in Houston and I missed my friends there. I missed singing the simple rhythm of a beautiful hymn and being moved together toward holiness in a way that is familiar to me. And that's when I finally understood why tradition is important, and why some church members and leaders fear change and resist it. Why some people like to sing from the book and not off the wall. And that I've judged certain people who enjoy what's comfortable. Maybe not out loud, but in my thoughts, but maybe out loud, too.

I missed what was comfortable and wanted so badly to just sing the hymn the right way. Just sing it the way it was written. Because that's the way I knew it. But I noticed people around me worshipping and singing and meaning it. And I realized that this was how they knew it.

For some reason, it felt good to miss my church. It must have been the sense of belonging. Or maybe it's because I had something that was good, and it feels good to have had it. Feels good to get that what I had was good. I'm not sure we always get it. But anyway,

I missed my church today.

We're Moving to NYC!!!

You already know, if you read Seth's blog, and most of you do. (Observation: Everytime I write, "if you read Seth's blog," I nearly always follow it with "and most of you do." So henceforth if I am blogging on a topic already mentioned by my husband, then I'll always say, quite naturally, "blah blah blah dee blabady bloo....if you read Seth's blog, and most of you do." Just so you know.) So thanks alot, Seth, for stealing my thunder about the move. But you started blogging before me, so in my line of reasoning, you hold the right to blog about it first.

Most things I have to say about this move I will reserve for a later time when I'm not doped up on Mucinex DM. (I'm telling you, that stuff makes me bonkers.) I caught a nasty cold in NYC and have almost lost my voice entirely, but thanks to Mucinex DM, I can vociferate, which means to "shout, complain, or argue loudly." I know this because I had first written "vocificate," which I believed to mean "utter any sound with the vocal chords." Clearly I made that word up. My vocal chords thank thee, Mucinex DM.

Here are some things I learned in the Big Apple:

1. Don't help old ladies cross the street.

2. The term "very light" in regards to the creamer added when ordering coffee at the local bagel shop alludes to the color of the coffee, not to the amount of calories.

3. People in New York stand "on line" instead of "in line."

4. The naked cowboy is really, really tan.

5. The D train stops locally until a certain point and then all of the sudden becomes express and it's a very...very long time until the next stop.

6. The place to buy music is called...oh shoot, what's it called? Company? I don't think that's right.

7. The partial-viewing box seats for 25 bucks at the Mary Poppins show are precisely partial-viewing and require one to lean halfway out of the box to see half the scenes, and still only half the stage is seen.

8. Rebecca Luker, who plays Mrs. Banks in Mary Poppins, is more magical than Mary Poppins played by Ashley Brown, although Ashley Brown has one of the most delightful voices I've ever heard.

9. You can hear incredible jazz in Greenwich Village, which is pronounced GRENNICH Village and not GREEN-WITCH Village. The rock and folk and whatever else is found on the East side.

10. Ordering a grilled chicken salad for $15 does not give you a gigantic salad like you'd think, but a very small salad, leaving you hungry still and in dire need of the Tollhouse Chocolate Chip Pie at The Brewry in The Empire State Building.

Tunesday: Still Haven't Found

Ah, Ha HA! That is a laugh of sheer spiritual glee at this video. I love this. I found this video on Stephen and Haley's blog. They are good, good friends of ours and are moving to Scotland so Stephen can go to almost as much school as Seth. Stephen will be working on a doctorate in some really spiritual and smart field, Early Church History, is it? Stephen talks about the hope we have in the kingdom to come, and how it's a hope that won't materialize into reality until Christ comes again. But it's a hope worth holding till the end. He says it way better than I could. We're really gonna miss you guys. Damn you for moving so far away. (Not really - the damn part. All in jest, all in jest. May no curses befall you.) Keep that bed or air mattress or futon ready for us. We're coming.

I used to go to a black church in Waco: Greater New Light Missionary Baptist Church. The choir was alot like this one. I miss it.

Gosh, I'm in a weepy, sentimental mood. Oh well, deal with it, people.

Tune: I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
Band: U2
Album: originally Joshua Tree

Tunesday: Glosoli

Song: Glosoli
Band: Sigur Ros
Album: Takk

The Sound of Music

Forget few and far between. The posts this past week were pretty much non-existent. The Sound of Music went very well, I think. A big thank you to those who came out to see the show!

I had such a good time. It was probably the most fun I've ever had doing a show. I've missed my Van Trapp kids today. The day after a run ends is always somewhat bittersweet. You're happy for a job well done, but there's a sense of loss. It's like waking up from a dream. The goal for which you've worked so hard is gone. Done. The moment vanished. Glimpses only in pictures. Quiet. No music, no lines. No applause. It's still, and it's healthy. It reminds me it's a job, something I do. Not something I am. I'm incredibly thankful for a husband who not only encourages me, but leads me, to do the things I love to do.

There have been some requests for pictures, so here ya go!
"Van Trapp children don't play. They march!"
Do Re Mi
"I am 16 going on 17..."
"Um...you want me to wear...that?
My new mother
The Festival
Kids taking a bow. It doesn't get much cuter than this.
The Cast
Now that's one handsome guy right there.
The Van Trapp Children

Tunesday: Danny Boy

I've shared it with you before. I bring to you, again, my most favorite tune to be sung by Muppets.