Unnatural

It's not natural for a dog to poop on the pavement.

Just plain dadgum unnatural.

I hate walking by a dog taking a crap on the sidewalk in Manhattan.


HATE it.



They look horridly embarrassed: ears back, necks out, beady little eyes, glancing ashamedly at passer-bys. The dogs hate it, too! No grass or shrubs to hide their gross contorted excrementing bodies.

Ugh.

Gross, gross, gross.

In My Kitchen, part II

Our super came today and sealed holes around the piping in the cabinets underneath the sink. And he set a trap.

Now see, this causes another problem. If Mickey gets caught in the trap, you're crazy if you think I'm touching that thing to throw it out the window, or kill it like my father-in-law does, by STOMPING on it. Uh-uh. No sirrree. And Seth's out of town. (Of course, I have to see the dadgum mouse when he's out of town.)

So I've remedied the problem. My next door neighbor has agreed to deal with it if I catch Mickey.

My next door neighbor's 18 and just out of high school. I think he hates me now for asking because I could see in his face that he was just being nice. Oh well. I'm very thankful for his manners, and I hope he doesn't hate me. He's a really great kid who's on Broadway, actually. He hasn't been working for the past few days, though, because of the stagehand strike. Most Broadway has gone dark, if you haven't read it in the papers. So since he has so much free time, I've requested he rid me of my mouse.

Let's all just hope Mickey decides not to visit again. For his sake and mine, and my next door neighbor's.

It's the Hard-Knock Life...

The past couple of weeks we've been house sitting. Such a hard job, let me tell ya. The pool and hot tub every night. The bike path behind the house. The tasty food and wine she leaves behind with permission to consume. The FANtastic washer that takes only a tiny amount of detergent for one load of laundry, and the dryer which dries clothes ultra fast. The service that mows the lawn. The piano. The very fast internet that doesn't crap out on us every two days, like the ridiculous TV Max cable internet we were forced into using because of our silly apartment complex. Ugh. Did I mention the wine?

Of course, house sitting does come with responsibilities. I mean, don't get the wrong idea. It's not complete utopia here. I do have to water the plants and feed the eleven-year-old-boy's snails upstairs. And if you've ever seen me with green things that grow, you know that it takes some effort on my part. I fret over whether I should water them today or tomorrow, and once I've watered them, if I've watered them too much. And the snails. Well. I don't know if you've ever fed snails, but...gross. That food stinks. Or is it the snails? Water snails in a tank rarely cleaned by its eleven-year-old owner....probably the snails. Why snails, I wonder? I get fish, or lizards, or even tarantulas. But snails? Not seeing the entertainment or companionship factor there, not even the nurturing factor. I was only instructed to feed them on the weekends. They don't feel like pets when you feed them only once a week. BUT, to each his own...

Oh, and the light from the windows in the morning. WAY too early. =-)

Patriotic Plans Gone Awry

This year's Independence Day, I was particularly looking forward to the underlined activities below:

Taken from Fort Bend Now, July 4, 2007

"Sugar Land invites the entire community to celebrate America’s 230th birthday, at the 21st annual Red, White and Bluefest, from 5-10 p.m. on Tuesday, July 4...

The evening begins with a Faces of America parade featuring Sugar Land’s culturally diverse residents displaying their various patriotic roots, followed by the Patriotic Pet Parade contest in which pets dressed in their finest red, white and blue get a chance to compete for the title of Sugar Land’s most patriotic pet. Throughout the event, the city will provide more than a hundred acres of food, games and good old-fashion American fun with jugglers, magicians and stilt walkers....

The evening closes with a 20-minute fireworks spectacular...."

Wow! That's some celebration right there. I was very much looking forward to it.

Sugar Land's "parade featuring culturally diverse residents displaying their various patriotic roots" could be translated as, "We here in Sugar Land are proud of our Indian population. We diplomatically strive towards inclusion when celebrating our country, so hey! Why not include theirs in the celebration!" But I'm OK with that. And the Patriotic Pet Parade. What a show that would have been! I was equipped with camera and all to snap my favorite pictures and share them with you. Who cares about the games. Free food and stilt walkers. Does it get any better than that?

We packed our car with two $8 folding chairs we had bought for but were not allowed to use at the Ben Folds concert and headed to the park. But alas, our local event was canceled due to a previous rain and a few leftover clouds. Seth was convinced there was a terrorist threat. Why else would they cancel flippin fireworks on the fourth of July! he exclaimed. Perhaps they were scared of rain, I calmly reasoned.

After a brief walk in a park whose existence was previously and sadly unbeknownst to us, we left hungry and dissappointed, the use our nifty folding chairs equipped with cup holder left for yet another day.