Have you ever been in a place in your life where everything, every-single-little-thing, means something. Where you go about your day knowing life is rich. It's not all easy. It's not all fun. But it's all clear. It's all love. Even the pain is love.

Somehow I'm there. I don't know how long it will last. I don't know why it's right now that it is. Every relationship is full. Every act is purposed. I'm thankful for each new day, for every person in my life. My faults are directly before my eyes and known to me, but I'm not afraid of them. I'm seeing light from darkness in a new way.

What is this? What is this but the undeniable grace of God that is given on no account but by the will of the Giver. Grace super-abounding. A little taste of heaven. An awareness of the kingdom of God on earth.

Yet even as I write, I feel its absence in fleeting moments. It's gone. It's there.

And I hope for what's to come, when the Gift is all throughout and around and eternal and near in a way that is fully known, fully realized, fully felt.

Complete.

Update

Rehearsals are going well. My cast is amazing. My director has issues with sentimentality and therefore keeps cutting more of my lines out of the play, because, well, my character is the sentimental one. The first two times I was like, yeah, that line was dumb. Cool. Then the third time, I thought...hey now, that's three of my lines gone. And if he does it again, I might just have to stand up for poor Beth here and plead her case.

Our Jo was in Cry Baby on B'way before it closed. She's really fun to work with. They're ALL fun to work with. My director included, even though he keeps chopping my lines.

Seth is now the acting music director of Central Presbyterian Church in Manhattan. We led worship today and it was a blast. My husband plays the organ. Who knew? We feel incredibly blessed by the people there and are so thankful for them.

More about the church later. I'm exhausted. Gotta sleep.

Little Women

Good news! I'm playing Beth in LITTLE WOMEN at the Engeman Theater. (Same theater as OLIVER and WONDERFUL LIFE) Rehearsals start Monday. I can't wait to get started. The show runs March 12 - April 19.

Beth is the second to youngest daughter of the March family.

Here's the website for more info. Click on "Show Schedule," then scroll down to find LITTLE WOMEN. Click on the link for tickets if you're interested in show times and prices. Would love for anyone who's able to come see the show!

I'll update with more info on cast members and let you know how the process is going as we go along.

For Husbands: 10 Ways You Know Your Wife is PMS-ing.

1. She cries not only at movies like Steel Magnolias and Beaches, but also at random scenes from Desperate Housewives.

2. She stares off in the distance mopingly for no good reason at all. Actually altogether she has a distant look in her eye. Like she's there but not really there -you can't be sure.

3. She wants to cuddle, then seconds later wants nothing to do with you.

4. You think it's safe to joke about her quirks, but when you do, she either cries or yells at you or slams a door or some combination of all three.

5. She keeps asking you, possibly for three to five days in a row, if she's gained weight, even though just the day before you told her no and that she looked hot. You do tell her that she looks hot, I'm sure....RIGHT?

6. She's slacking on chores and household responsibilities. Doesn't want to cook or clean or run errands or much of anything.

7. But she does want chocolate. A lot of it.

8. If she's normally a pretty organized person, you notice her forgetting things when she leaves the house, like maybe even her PURSE! GASP. You'll notice her leaving and coming back inside several times before actually departing the premises.

9. She's irritated at the world when she's not irritated with you, and irritated with you when she's not irritated with the world. Choose your words carefully and be extra sweet, and if....IF....you must remind her that she's PMSing...don't use it as ammunition. She can't help it. Don't discard her feelings because of it. Her feelings are important. And by all means, don't ASK her in the middle of an argument if she is. It won't get you anywhere. Just ask her LATER, when you think it's safe, and ask her sweetly, and then remember so you don't have to ask her AGAIN.

10. She's too annoyed to think of a number 10 on a list she thinks is cliche but will post anyways because she has nothing else she presently wants to write about.

Thinking Out Loud

Sitting in a Starbucks, thinking. Surely, there is some inherent goodness in us all. I notice kindnesses in the street. Real, genuine kindnesses. More than I ever have before. Maybe I'm more aware now. I am almost thirty, after all. Maybe thirty means you pay more attention. Or maybe this city forces you to watch. Maybe both. There has to be a balance between self awareness and selflessness. Self aware so that I'm not constantly viewing myself from the outside, from what I think other people think. But this is not a selfISHness. To be kind is to consider another better than yourself. To be genuinely kind it must stem from a self aware security, in order to come from the inside out. To notice another should come from the nside out. Coming from the outside in, I can see only myself. But to be only self aware I forget my neighbor, and there the balance is skewed. (Is that the right word? Skewed?)

Thoughts from a Starbucks. From my trusty iPhone.